Page 61 of One More Time

I deserve all the bad shit that will eventually be rained down on me. Karma and all that. I’m sure of it.

“What happened last night?” Killian asks as he moves into my house.

I’m not in the mood to talk with him, to entertain him. Not when I’m feeling like this. I know he’ll see right through all of my bullshit. He’ll know something happened with Jude and me, even if I don’t admit it.

I slurp at the coffee and sigh when the hot liquid hits my tongue.

I peek over at Killian and he has his eyes narrowed, his nose scrunched. I’m sure he’s sniffing out the apartment. Probably smells all the cum that we expelled last night.

I should have opened a window.

“I know something happened, and I don’t want the details, but do you feel better about everything now? Did you get what you wanted?”

I shift on my feet and glance away from him. Killian has been a close friend of mine since I switched schools my junior year. We went to college together and were roommates in the dorms. For a few months, we even had a little fling, even though it didn’t amount to anything. And now he’s here, helping me come to terms with my childhood bully.

And my silly plot for revenge.

A plot that doesn’t seem like revenge anymore.

No, it seems like maybe I’m the bully in this story, and I feel like shit about it.

“I don’t know,” I murmur, and Killian folds his arms across his chest.

“You’ve really fucked up, you know that?” he says, and I roll my eyes at him, striding to the door and holding it open for him.

“I appreciate the coffee, but I’m not in the mood for this, Killian.”

He huffs and strides out to the porch, stuffing his hands in his pockets and rocking on his feet. For a moment, he looks so unsure.

“I just don’t want you hurt. I know what Jude did to you all those years ago. I was there to pick up the pieces. I saw you at your worst.”

I swallow and nod. “I know.”

“Protect yourself, Alec. End this before it gets messy and you end up hurt again.”

I nod and then close the door softly. I know what he’s saying, know he means well, but I don’t want to end it just yet.

No, I’m not through with Jude Martin.

Not in the fucking slightest.

CHAPTER 10

JUDE

“You got the kiddos today?” Ollie says as he bounds into our kitchen. He’s wearing tight jeans and an oversized long-sleeved shirt, his hair pulled back in a messy bun.

I bob my head as I help Julia and Jordan with the mixer. “We’re making chocolate chip cookies and then I’m going to take them to the park,” I say.

After waking up this morning, I had the incredible urge to see the kids, to hold them, to hear them tell me how much they love me. Selfish, I know, but I needed it.

I needed someone to love me for who I am, with no provisions. Just loving me for me.

And they do. I truly believe that hate is something that is taught. I know. I have struggled with hating myself daily.

“Yeah, Brian got home last night, so I messaged and asked if I could grab the kids so the two of them could have some time alone.”

“You, Jude, are a saint,” Ollie says as he picks up Charlie from the high chair and blows raspberries on his stomach, making him squeal in delight.