Page 101 of H E R

I swallow, and I know that if I dare speak, my voice will crack, so I nod against the pressure of his upper body leaning into me.

I realize that it doesn’t matter where I’m at, as long as I’m with him. Dylan is my anchor, he’s what holds me level and sane. He’s my drive, the current that propels me forward, the flame to my campfire. I never believed in ‘meant to be’ bullshit, but he’s my other half. I’m not ever letting him go. I can’t. It’d be like trying to never blink, or holding my breath forever. Impossible. The human body does these things naturally. And suddenly, it hits me, like two trains heading in the opposite direction and finally colliding–I love this fucking man.

Is it too soon to be feeling this way? It’s only been a couple of months, but for some reason, it feels like he’s connected to me on a level beyond my understanding. Maybe my emotions are due to all the shit I’ve been through. My stress scale has been put through the shredder, yet Dylan’s presence stabilizes me.

Dylan begins to pull away, and I grip his arms and hold him close. We haven’t had sex in over a week. My mind wasn’t in it, although my body responds to him on instinct. We’d slept side by side, the heat of his body kept me sound, and his heartbeat became my very own lullaby. I refused to sleep without him, but we hadn’t been naked or touched one another sexually.

I breathe him in now and a heady swirl spins my senses into a tumultuous desire deep inside me. My lips lightly rub over his, and then I pepper his bottom lip with kisses. Three words sting the tip of my tongue and I have to clamp my teeth down to keep me from spilling them.It’s too soon, it’s too soon, it’s too soon.What was it my mother had told me years ago before I ever gave a shit about boys?

When you know, you know. And don’t ever let it go,she’d said.

I suck on his full top lip, but he slowly eases me away suddenly.

“Come on, fox. Dinner will be ready soon and I hear it’s your favorite.”

I frown. Since when isDylan prudent and respectful? A wounded and slightly sad girl in my mind rolls her eyes at me–since he watched you bawl your eyes out for losing your ex.

“I wasn’t in love with Noah,” I blurt. “I mean, Ididlove him. But not like that.”

Dylan nods. “I know.”

I don’t know where to look, but I refuse to meet his onyx eyes. And right when I’m about to release the words I’ve been biting back, my phone rings.

“Hello?”

“Good afternoon, Ms. Escamilla. I’m calling regarding the application Julius submitted, but then retracted.”

I’d given Jule’s school administration my number. It was about time they had one. Jule had missed a few days from school, and I wanted to make sure the excuse I made up stuck and that he wouldn’t get in trouble. Days before the mess we found ourselves in, Jule was forced to stop the process of applying for early college programs that his teachers recommended. He needed parental consent and proof of parental status since he’s only fourteen.

“I’m wondering if he’d like us to resubmit now that the paperwork is all in order.”

“In order? What do you mean?”

The woman seems confused by my question. “The er… paperwork. Everything is complete. We received a copy of the certificate of adoption and your signature for parental consent. Would you like me to resubmit Julius’s application?”

I’m fucking stunned and speechless.

“Ms. Escamilla?”

I meet Dylan’s watchful gaze, and he smiles knowingly. My heart quickens and immediately I know–he made this happen.

“Yes, resubmit it. Thank you.”

I slide the phone into my back pocket. “You…how?”

Dylan cocks his head to the side and palms the five o’clock shadow dusting his cheeks and chin. “I couldn’t let a piece of paper get in the way of Jule getting into a good college. He’s too fucking smart. And you? You’ve worked too hard.”

Fuck. Tears rim and threaten to spill over my bottom lid, and when I blink, they stream over my cheeks. “Dylan, I don’t… thank you. Seriously, just… thank you.”

I collide with him, smothering my face with the front of his black cotton shirt and bawling for the ninety-eighth time this week. But this time, they’re happy tears.

36

Redemption

“So, I heard you’re planning a vacation.”

Niki drops her fork and glares at Jule, but I just chuckle. Everyone at the table stops eating and stares at us. Except Macy. She can care less.