Page 82 of Dr. Aster
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, and that’s the problem. I can’t explain my feelings, but I can tell you that I don’t like them.”
He smiled and ran his fingertips along my cheek. It felt so amazing, and instantly—as if he controlled this damn love spell himself—my entire being calmed.
I exhaled.
“Mick,” he said, leaning back against his desk and facing me, using his finger to lift my chin and bring my eyes to meet his. “I know what you’re going through, and this panic of not being able to control my feelings for you is something that I’ve already gone through.”
“Good, then you’ll understand why we can’t keep screwing around like this. You and I are just a fling. We think it’s more, but in reality, it isn’t.”
“Oh,” he crossed his arms and arched an eyebrow at me, “it’s more. It’s a million times more than we think it is.”
“How can you say that?” I questioned, confused.
“Because they’re strong feelings, we’re both having them, and we’re both terrified of it. The first night you and I were together, and the fact that it nearly took an act of God to pull us away from each other, was something otherworldly.”
“It was us being horny,” I said.
“No fucking way,” he chuckled, as if he’d gone through these challenges, cracked the code on them, and was going to coach me through this now. “There’s no way it was us just being horny. I know what it’s like to be horny, fuck someone to get it out of my system, and then move on to the next. This is nothing like that. The best way I can put this is that I never believed a day would come when I’d meet a woman who’d make all other women nonexistent.”
Okay, if he wants to act like he’s got this figured out and be cocky about it, I might as well scare him off.
“Well, I’m not feeling it that way,” I said. “I’m having thoughts that are unlike me.”
“To be expected when you’re with the best man you’ve ever known.”
“John, be serious, please.”
“I am serious. I saw your ex, and he’s not?—”
“Please,” I nearly growled in frustration. “Just listen to me. I’m turning into some weirdo who is, well…” I couldn’t even frame my thoughts correctly. “John, I’m turning into some jealous and insecure woman because of you.”
“Oh, shit,” he said, covering his instant smile and most likely stopping an outburst of laughter. “Mickie, I think?—”
“No,” I said. “I feel like an idiot admitting that to you, and I have no idea why I did. This is insanity, and I’m not comfortable with it.”
“I am,” he said, and his challenging and confident expression forced me to narrow my eyes at him, thinking this was all some funny little game.
“Oh yeah?” I challenged him back.
“Yup,” he said, getting sexier by the second with the way he softly and deeply spoke to me.
“Well, how about this, then,” I said, thinking I’d call his bluff and spare us both the heartache of this insane love affair. “Your family?”
“Right,” he answered, eyes searching mine.
“They don’t know about me, do they?”
“No,” he answered, trying to maintain his serious expression.
“Well, what if I want them to know about me? What if I want to meet them?”
That should give him a scare.
“You want to meet my family?” he questioned.
“Yes, and I know that scares you a little bit.”
“I’m not scared at all,” he said, acting bulletproof.