Page 29 of Love You Still
“And don’t look at either of us. Your momma scares me sometimes.” Leia holds both her hands up in surrender, causing us all to laugh loudly.
“You heard them, Love. Tell your aunts goodnight.”
“Good night, aunties. Love you.”
“Love you, too,” we respond as Love pushes to her feet and heads off the screen.
“I better go and make sure she actually goes to sleep. Love you guys, and thanks for being there for me.”
“Always,” Bristol replies as we all blow her kisses and wave goodbye before the screen goes black.
“You really should learn to take your own advice,” Leia says as she pushes to her feet and returns to her chair on the other side of the coffee table. “The universe may just be giving you a sign, as well.”
“That’s right. A do-over. A chance to not make the same mistakes a second time.” Bristol eyes me skeptically, daring me to disagree, but I can’t.
“You’re probably right, but I don’t plan on staying in Tyson’s Creek after my injury is healed. The moment I get a call for an audition, I’ll be going back to New York.”
“And? What you need to do is put your big-girl panties on and see where this leads, or better yet, you can ask his opinion this time instead of deciding on your own,” Leia chastises me. “You spent years apart because you were too stubborn to ask a simple question. Don’t let this chance pass you by again.”
Leia is right. This could be Vance’s and my do-over, a chance to ensure history doesn’t repeat itself, but maybe trying to pick things up where they ended isn’t what’s best for either of us.
“I wish I knew what that letter said.”
“Good thing I had your mom open it and send me photos so you could read it before going home,” Leia chirps, shaking her cell phone in front of my face.
“You didn’t!” Bristol exclaims as I reach for Leia’s phone, but she pulls it away at the last minute.
“I did, and Selina will thank me for it later.”
“I don’t know if I want to read it.”
“Oh, no. You don’t get to change your mind now,” Bristol retorts, grabbing both my hands and squeezing them tightly. “Here are your choices. You can take Leia’s phone into my room to read it in private, or Leia will read the entire thing out loud right here.”
“Give me the phone.” I hold my hand toward Leia, and she quickly unlocks her phone before placing it in my palm.
“Smart choice. We’ll be here when you’re finished,” Bristol whispers, planting a kiss on the side of my head before I push to my feet and stride to the back of the house.
I don’t even make it to her room before I slide to the floor and read the letter.
Seli:
I don’t know if I can do this anymore. The pain of missing you, of not hearing your voice, has become almost unbearable. I love you so much that it hurts to not have you near me, but I need to move forward. I need to learn how to live my life without you in it.
I know you are off in New York, following your dreams, making new friends, and creating anew life for yourself, but my heart breaks thinking that it doesn’t involve me.
I wish that I could have been by your side as you conquered the world. To be there the first time you dance on the big stage in New York, but this seems to be the end for us.
In my heart, you will always be the little girl with two spiral curl pigtails nestled on each side of her head with red bows tied around the top of each one that I fell in love with when I was a little boy.
This is the end of this chapter in both of our lives, but please never forget, I’ll always be here, praying and waiting for you to find your way back to me.
I will always love you, Seli.
Vance
Tears stream down my face as painful sobs wrack my body. After all these years, Vance is still waiting for me to come home. When I saw him that night, I thought that was the end. That he had moved on and was done waiting for me, but that wasn’t the case. This letter wasn’t his way of telling me he stopped loving me but reminding me he has always been here waiting.
A part of me wants to run to Vance and beg for him to forgive me for all the pain I’ve put both of us through, but an even larger part of me wants to strengthen the locks around my heart so I can focus on getting better. I came home to rehab myankle and find the pieces of myself I’ve been missing. I can’t even think about being with him again until I do that, especially if following my dream will only tear us apart a second time. Once I manage to do that, maybe I can figure out a way to apologize for everything that has happened and the pain I put us through, but I have a long way to go before that can happen.