Page 39 of Love You Still
“He didn’t do anything, Aunt Selina.” Love sniffles, pushing a strand of her wavy black hair behind her ear and plastering a fake smile on her face. “I was just in my feels for a minute. You know how it is around that time of the month.”
“Ah, well, we can make Vance stop at the store for some junk food and chocolate because I can guarantee there’s nothing like that at Jade’s house.”
“Ugh, my dad never has any good junk food in the house,” Jade announces before whispering something into Love’s ear.
Love nods before grabbing her dance bag off the floor near the chair. “I’ll meet you guys in the truck,” she murmurs before scurrying out the door, Jade right on her heels.
Selina waits to ensure both girls are out of earshot before turning to me. “Now, what was that really about?”
“Jade was feeling out of place.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“She was worried you never came back to see her because you blamed her for Lydia’s death.”
Selina gasps as if I struck her, tears welling in her soulful eyes as she shakes her head back and forth. “That wasn’t it at all. I wanted to see her, to hold her in my arms. But after seeing you with—” She slaps her hands over her mouth as her eyes widen in surprise.
“Seeing me with who?”
My mind races, trying to make sense of what she just said. Mr. and Mrs. Grymes never once told me about Selina coming back to town, and the last time I saw her was at Lydia’s funeral. She refused to make eye contact with me during the entire ceremony and escaped out the back of the church before I could talk to her. I assumed it was because she was upset about losing her best friend, which I understood, but then she went radio silent. Stopped answering my calls and text messages. I tried formonths to find out what had happened, but no one could give me an answer. Maybe this is why.
“Never mind. I shouldn’t have said anything in the first place. This isn’t about me; it’s about Jade. I never wanted her to feel abandoned by me.”
“I know. And that’s exactly what I told her. Lydia was your best friend; you aren’t allowed to not be obsessively in love with her daughter.”
Selina laughs softly. “I hope you said it more sincerely than that.”
“Maybe only a little.” I chuckle as she goes to brush past me, but I grab her arm. “Now that we have that out of the way, what did you see that made you cut off your best friends?”
“It’s nothing, Vance. We don’t want to keep the girls waiting.”
“No,” I growl, tugging softly on her arm until she drops down into a chair. “You are going to tell me what happened that made you run away from me and everyone else.”
“I saw you!” she screams, pulling her arm from my grasp. “I rushed back here from New York the minute my parents told me what happened to Lydia. I didn’t even bother going home when my parents picked me up from the airport and went straight to Connor’s house.”
Selina wraps her arms around her waist, her eyes taking on this faraway look as she recalls what happened that night.
“Connor looked so lost. He didn’t say a word when I walked into the room. The only thing he did was stare into space. I tried to stay there and be supportive of him, but I knew there wasn’t anything I could say to make his pain go away. It was at that moment I decided I wasn’t going back to New York. I was miserable. Dancing no longer brought me joy the way it used to, and I missed you, all of you.”
“You were planning on coming home?” I murmur as I reach for her, pulling her against me. Tears spring to my eyes as Ibury my nose in her neck, clinging to her body like she could disappear at any moment. “Why didn’t you say anything to me, Selina?”
“Because,” she croaks, trying to wiggle out of my grasp, but I tighten my hold.
“I don’t know what’s going on here, but there has never been anyone else in this world for me but you.” I lean back, cupping her cheeks in my palms. “I’ve loved you since before I knew what love was.” I kiss the tip of her nose before laying my forehead against hers.
Bitterness courses through my veins that we’ve lost so much time with each other over a misunderstanding. I barely remember anything about that night besides feeling lost. I wanted to be there for my friend, to help ease the pain he must have been feeling about losing the love of his life, but I was hurting, too. The one person I wanted there was nowhere to be found. I had lost one of my friends, someone I cared about like a sister, but I wanted Selina. I want to feel her body pressed against mine. I want to be able to give myself over to all the emotions swirling inside of me without the fear of being seen as weak or a bad friend. That’s what Selina gave me, a place to feel safe to be myself, flaws and all.
“I want to believe you, but…”
“No. There is nobut, Selina. What did you see that sent you running away from me?”
“After Lydia died, I saw you.” Selina clenches her eyes shut, her head swinging back and forth as she struggles in my arms, trying to get away from me. “On Connor’s back porch. My parents called me that morning to let me know Lydia was gone, and I rushed home. The only thought in my mind was that I wanted to see you, to feel your arms wrapped tightly around me as you whisper calming words into my ear.”
Selina bangs her fist on my chest, tears streaming down her face as she lets all her emotions free. “Instead, I came home to find you with someone else.”
“Selina…” My voice breaks slightly as I pull her tighter to my chest, but she pushes away from me. Selina takes a step back, swiping at the tears streaming down her cheeks as her face morphs from pure agony to rage before my eyes.
“Don’t touch me,” she spits, her entire body shaking with anger. “Why should I believe you? Why did you do all of this in the first place?”