Page 48 of Love You Still
“That’s right, you promised me a bedroom picnic.” Selina smiles as she grabs the pizza box off the table, her shot glass, and the plate of limes before heading for the stairs.
“I’ll grab some plates and be right behind you.”
I want to know everything about Selina’s life in New York, but a part of me is afraid that being back here in Tyson’s Creek could never compare. Spending quiet nights here on the porch swing, watching the sun disappear behind the horizon won’t measure up to the fast pace of the city Selina is used to. She said she wasn’t the same girl that she was when she left town, that she’s worked to change herself and become someone else. But I can’t help but wonder if she was happy.
There had to be a reason that she came home after being injured, and I doubt it had anything to do with Ms. Cassandra needing to sell the studio. That was just her excuse, but I have a feeling the real reason is she’s lost. Selina may have wanted to change herself, but I still see glimpses of the girl I fell in love with all those years ago. She’s still inside her. She may have buried her deep inside herself, but she’s still in there. Now all I need to do is to find a way to coax her into letting her free. Although she set out to reinvent herself, I truly think that what Selina needs is to remember the person she was in order to move forward.
“Hurry up, slow poke. I’m hungry!” Selina shouts from upstairs, causing me to laugh loudly.
“So impatient.” I shake my head before grabbing the bottle of tequila off the table and heading up the stairs. I stop in the doorway, my eyes scanning the room as if I’m seeing it for the first time.
I painted the room a neutral beige color, a wrought iron California king-size bed pushed up against the far wall. My bed is neatly made, the gray comforter pulled to the top of the bed with the pillow propped against the headboard. There are two oversized windows on either side of the bed, with two small end tables nestled in front of them. Instead of the mess of clothes thrown around from our first trip to the room, they are neatly folded on top of the dresser pushed against the wall between the bathroom and closet door.
“I picked up a little and made the bed. I hope you don’t mind,” Selina mumbles before ducking her head.
“Of course not. How could we have a bed picnic if the bed was a mess?” I wink at her before walking further into the room. “Now, let’s eat. I don’t want to be accused of starving you to death.”
Selina laughs as she grabs a plate from my hand before flinging the pizza box open and grabbing a slice. We eat in silence for a few moments before Selina smiles at me, grabbing her shot glass and thrusting it toward me. “Shot time.”
I grab the bottle of tequila from the end table beside me and fill both our glasses.
“Okay, lay it on me. Make it a good one.” I throw back my second shot before pouring another one and grabbing another slice of pizza from the box.
“Why did you choose construction?”
“What else was I supposed to do with all these muscles?” I wink at her before flexing my arms, making her laugh as she takes her next shot. “Honestly, it seemed like fun. I’ve always been good with my hands, so why not build houses for a living?”
I can see the wheels in Selina’s head spinning as she bites her tongue, wanting to ask an additional question but also wanting desperately to stick to our deal.
“Go ahead and ask, Selina. But I get to ask two questions next time.” I pour both of us another shot before throwing mine back.
“Is it enough for you? Never leaving Tyson’s Creek and seeing what else the world has to offer besides this sleepy little town?” she asks, her eyes focused on me as she throws back her shot and licks her lips before reaching for the plate of limes.
“Yes and no,” I answer honestly. “I regret not going to NYU so I could be closer to you, but I loved being able to build our business from the ground up.”
“You got into NYU?”
“I did. I knew when you told me you were applying to Juilliard that I didn’t want to be away from you, but I never told you. I foolishly kept it to myself, wanting you to ask me to go with you.”
“I never knew that…” Tears collect in her eyes as my hand cups her cheeks. Her eyes drift shut as she nuzzles her cheek into my palm.
“I know. I regretted not telling you every day, but now that enough time has passed, I know it was the best decision for us. Because I didn’t go to NYU, I was here for Connor and Jade. I was able to help Connor through his grief after losing Lydia. But it also gave me a chance to grow up and become a better man.”
“Unlike me. Is that what you’re saying?” Selina’s eyes open, locking with mine, the pain of losing her best friend bubbling up to the surface. “I should have been there for Connor, for Jade, for you, but I ran away, closing myself off from the world and attempting to forget everyone who ever cared about me. Hoping by doing so I’d find a way to make the pain go away.”
“You dealt with the pain of losing your best friend and me the best way you knew how.” I lean forward, planting a kiss on her forehead before resting mine against hers. “I’ve always and will always be there for you, Selina. No matter what happensbetween us, you are one of the most important people in my world. Nothing will change that.”
“Thank you, Vance.” She leans back, brushing her lips softly against mine. “I’ve been running from the girl I was, determined to reinvent myself, to be someone else, but in reality, I was just afraid. Afraid of what it meant to admit to myself that maybe I made a mistake in going to New York.”
“Do you regret it?”
“No. But I regret the way things ended with us.”
“They never ended, Selina. Just think of it as a long pause.”
Selina wraps her arms around my waist and lays her head against my chest. “Vance, why didn’t you find anyone else?” Her words are barely above a whisper.
“The simple answer is, they weren’t you. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t try to forget you, but after enough horrible dates, I gave up. I finally realized that I was comparing all those women to you.