Page 62 of Side By Side
Chandler smiled and replied, “Skating is my life, Belle. Always has been.”
Belle nodded and asked, “You not dating; is that Cat and your mom, or is that you?”
“It’s a little of all of it, I suppose. My mom frowned on it when I was a teen. My sister doesn’t like me to have distractions. I have a goal and don’t want to be distracted, either. I figured I’d worry about my love life after.”
“After what, exactly?”
“I retire.”
“So, in a year? Or, maybe, five, if you don’t make this team and go for the next?”
“I’m not going for the next. You know if I don’t make it this time, that’s it for me.”
“You could still try,” Belle suggested.
Chandler shook her head and said, “No, I don’t think I can.”
“But you’ve been with… someone?”
“Yes, I’ve had sex, Belle. With a few someones. I just didn’t have the luxury of being in love first.”
“Yes, you did,” Belle replied. “You just didn’t take it. Your choice. Your life. I guess that’s kind of my point in bringing you here, too.” She looked around. “It’s all your choice, you know?”
Chandler reached for a small piece of bacon on Belle’s doughnut and put it in her mouth, making Belle smile and herself feel about eight feet tall.
CHAPTER 17
“What is wrong with you two today?” Catalina asked.
“Nothing,” Chandler replied as she skated back over to Belle after having missed a cue to take Belle’s hand.
“Really? Nothing? You’re sluggish.” The woman held up one finger. “Not timing things right, missing your cues, your speed is off, and it’s like you didn’t even wake up this morning. Did you not get enough sleep?”
“I slept fine,” Chandler replied.
Catalina looked at Belle with that terrifying gaze, and Belle looked down at the ice because she knew this was all her fault.
“I slept fine, too,” she said.
It had been her stupid idea to take Chandler to get a doughnut. They’d each eaten two and a half, splitting their entire order pretty equally and finishing their coffees before they’d finally left, both of them feeling like they’d eaten way too much. She regretted it only a little since it was getting them in trouble on the ice right now, but she didn’t regret getting Chandler out of this house, away from her sister for an hour, and doing something fun. They’d had a good talk, and Belle was getting to know Chandler in a way she hadn’t been able to do when they were kids. That was because they hadn’t really known who they were back then yet, but also because the program wasn’t a place for fun and getting to know other skaters. It was for learning how to skate and competing. The only thing the program was designed for was taking potential Olympians and making them actual Olympians, and as one of the top-sponsored programs throughout the country, they’d done that several times over their history. Of course, neither Belle nor Chandler had been one of those success stories yet. Belle had been one of the quitters. Chandler had only made it as far as being an alternate so far.
People quit the program all the time. It was difficult. It was isolating. It kept them from going to a normal school and participating in other activities that teenagers get to participate in, and not everyone could make it. Of all the skaters they accepted in a year, usually only half of them made it through the first season, and another twenty-five percent of them left in year two. Belle had been selected when she was ten years old, which was two years younger than most of the skaters they picked, and on top of being the poor girl, she’d also been the youngest for a while, but she’d stuck it out.
Her leaving four years later had been an anomaly. If the skaters made it through year two, they tended not to leave on their own. Typically, they’d age out of the program, or a coach would pull them and their parents aside and tell them that it wasn’t going to happen for their child and that it was time for them to pack their things. Belle was grateful, in a way, that leaving had been her choice – well, sort of, anyway – and that she’d never had to sit in an office above the rink, watching the other skaters down below, and hear that it was her time to go.
“So, you both slept fine, but you’re skating like shit today? What’s going on? We’ve got a program to run through here.”
“We know, Cat. I just missed the grab. It’s fine. We’ll run it again,” Chandler said.
Belle was glad that Chandler hadn’t revealed their little doughnut caper to Catalina because Belle was pretty sure that Catalina had a board somewhere that she made tally marks on for any time something went wrong, and it was, in her mind, at least, Belle’s fault. When Belle hit whatever number of marks Catalina had in her head, it would be time for Belle to pack her things and go, and she was surprised to realize that she didn’t want to go. Well, part of her was concerned about the fact that she could still have feelings for Chandler, even after all these years and everything that had happened between them, but it was just a crush. So, yet again, she’d push it down deep so that they could skate together, and maybe she could help Chandler get ready for the Games and for Walker to return to being her partner.
“Okay. Let’s do it again, then. I want it flawless this time. We’ll go from the combination into the grab.”
“Fine,” Chandler replied, sounding like it was anything but.
Belle just stood there looking between the siblings.
“Belle!” Catalina yelled and pointed to the ice.