Page 6 of Healing the Twin
“He did always have a crush on you back then.”
“Yeah, but he’s been married, and from what I understand, he and his husband were very happy together, so surely that’s in the past.”
Tiago leaned against the counter, his brow furrowed. “Are you sure you understood him correctly?”
“What do you mean?”
“Did Fir specifically say he wanted a relationship?”
“Well, no, he didn’t use the word ‘relationship.’ But I assumed that was what he was after. He wouldn’t ask me for…”
I froze, and then my eyes met my brother’s. Oh, fuck.
“I think he was asking you for a hookup, not a date. It’s probably been a while for him, and he might be craving some physical intimacy,” Tiago said softly. “It’s not like he has a lot of options in town.”
An icy wave washed over me. Had I misunderstood Fir’s intentions? My chest tightened. If Tiago was right, I’d rejected Fir on a false assumption. How could I have been so blind to the possibility of him asking me for sex?
“Shit.” I ran a shaky hand through my hair. “I never even considered that.”
I’d pegged him as a relationship guy based on the fact that he’d been married, but maybe that had been presumptuous of me. I’d never asked him to clarify. And now that I thought about it, Tiago’s suggestion made sense. Fir wouldn’t have options locally. He knew everyone in town, and on top of that, he was the doctor. He was way too conscientious to sleep with a patient, so that probably eliminated every gay man in the area. Plus, as a single dad, he couldn’t get away for some private time that easily. He must’ve seen me as a solution to that problem…and to be honest, he hadn’t been wrong.
By far, the biggest downside of staying in town was that I wasn’t getting much action while still getting to “enjoy” the sounds of my brother having enthusiastic sex. We’d always lived in the same house since the day we were born, so that part was par for the course, but it did make me horny. What a sad state of affairs when I had to resort to taking matters into my own hands. Literally. So yeah, I could see how Fir had come to proposition me and how I’d been the idiot who had misunderstood.
“He took off, probably embarrassed as fuck,” I said with a sigh.
“Well, the good news is that it’s a small town, and it’s not like you don’t know how to find him.”
“Yeah.”
Tiago took my hand and threaded our fingers together. “Talk to him. You owe it to both of you to clear things up.”
I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. “You’re right. I need to call Fir and find out what he wants. Maybe we can… I don’t know, figure something out.”
Sex with Fir Everett. Now, there was a possibility I had never considered, but the thought was strangely appealing.
3
FIR
The door to my doctor’s office clicked shut after my last patient of the day. Exhausted, I leaned back in my chair and rubbed my eyes. All I could think about was my botched attempt at asking Tomás for a hookup. Damn, why did it have to be so difficult?
My face burned with embarrassment as I remembered his reaction, completely misunderstanding what I was asking for. It wasn’t like I wanted to date the guy. I needed some release, someone who understood my needs and could help take the edge off.
Why hadn’t I been more direct with him? My insecurities had gotten the best of me, and now I felt vulnerable and exposed. It was bad enough when I’d been the nerdy chess club captain in high school, pining after the untouchable Tomás Banner, never daring to approach him. But to have him dismiss me like that when I was a successful doctor and a single father made me feel small all over again.
Granted, he’d been nice about it, but Tomás had always been kind. He might not have noticed me back in high school, but he’d never been mean either. I’d simply been invisible to him.
I sighed and stood, stretching my tired muscles. This situation was a mess, but I couldn’t let it drag me down. I needed to let go of the past and focus on what was important: my kids, my work, and moving forward with my life.
Still, my hands trembled as I scrubbed them under the faucet, the cool water doing little to wash away my mounting anxiety. I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, seeing the same awkward boy who had idolized Tomás Banner from afar in high school. Tomás had been the epitome of everything I wasn’t: confident, charismatic, and desirable. And though years had passed and I’d built a life for myself—a perfect life right until Samuel had gotten sick—I still felt like I’d never be good enough for him.
“Stupid,” I muttered, splashing more water on my face. “He’s just a guy, Fir. Just a guy.”
The memory of Samuel flooded my mind unbidden. A pang of grief twisted my heart. I missed the way he used to hold me after a tiring day like this, my safe harbor in any storm. He’d left such a big, gaping hole, not only because of his love and companionship that was now gone but also because of the balance he’d brought and the confidence he’d instilled in me.
A tear rolled down my cheek, and I angrily swiped it away. This wasn’t the time to grieve. I had responsibilities, like a job that required me to bring my A-game and two amazing sons who needed their father to be strong.
“Get your shit together, Fir. You’re better than this. You’re stronger than this.”