Page 1 of Filthy Secret

CHAPTER

ONE

ATOMIC

I’m not a good man. I never have been. I can say I’m a good leader because I have a loyal crew behind me, which shows that. It proves it. They aren’t scared of me, but they sure as fuck respect me.

It hasn’t always been that way.

Once upon a time, I was a fucking idiot like the rest of them. She made me an idiot. The only woman I ever loved or thought I loved. Maybe I didn’t know what the fuck love was. I’m sure she didn’t.

Eighteen and too goddamn young for my thirty-year-old ass.

Eleven years ago, she walked into the clubhouse looking for her clubwhore sister, Ellen. I took one look at her and knew she was mine. I had to have her for myself. I had to keep her. She was so good, pure, fucking clean, and I hadn’t seen anything like that in the clubhouse before.

So, I tried. I succeeded for five years.

But I made mistakes. She did, too. Mine were bigger. I figured I could make it up to her eventually. Some sweet words, some good fucking. Until she walked away and never looked back. That was her biggest mistake, or maybe it wasn’t.

Maybe she honestly didn’t give a fuck, and it was easy for her. At the time, she was all about me, but she was also all about protecting that whore sister of hers. But I gave a fuck then. I still give a fuck.

It’s been six years, but it still feels like goddamn yesterday.

Lifting the glass to my lips, I take a long drink, downing half the contents. It burns, sliding down my throat, but I don’t give a shit.

I welcome that burn.

What a gigantic cluster this club is in right now. I need this drink just to get through the fucking night. When I feel a tap on my shoulder, I slowly turn around and freeze at the sight in front of me.

It’s as if thinking of her has fucking manifested her. She is standing in front of me. As if she’s suddenly appeared like fucking magic. I haven’t laid eyes on her for six years, but I would recognize her in the darkest seediest club or walking down a shadowy street. Anywhere.

When the shock of seeing her standing directly in front of me wears off, the anger fills me. It consumes me in almost an instant. The color red flashes in front of my eyes, and I try to blink it away, but it doesn’t work.

I’m that fucking pissed off right now.

Who would have thought that a leggy blonde could make me so fucking pissed? But this one can and does.

Reaching out, I wrap my fingers around her slim bicep, and I grunt as my cock twitches beneath my jeans. It presses against my zipper, threatening to leave a permanent mark there. That pisses me off, too. How do I still have a physical attraction to her when I’m so fucking angry with her?

It’s been six years. Why am I pissed?

Dragging her behind me, I march her straight to my bedroom. I should probably take her somewhere like my office, somewhere that doesn’t have a bed. But who am I kidding? I could fuck Ryan Turner anywhere, on any surface, any second of any day.

Propelling her into the room, I watch as she practically slides along the floor, stopping with a few stumbling steps. I slam the door behind me and flip the lock into place before I turn to face her.

I watch her shoulders deflate, and then, as if she’s moving through molasses, she finally faces me.

“You don’t fucking so much as send me a text in six years, and then you show up here looking at me like you’re an injured innocent doe? Why don’t you tell me what the fuck is going on. And spare me the puppy-dog eyes because I don’t give a fuck if you’re sad.”

She flinches at my words. She should. I made sure that my tone was just shy of hostile. Sucking in a breath, she dips her chin in a single nod before she speaks. Her voice is small and insecure. I hate that, but I’m not here to boost her fucking ego. Not anymore.

“I need help,” she whispers.

I let out a bark of laughter and shake my head. “Bitch, that is fucking rich.” Ryan takes a step toward me, then another. Holding out my palms, I warn her off from coming any closer. “Don’t fucking try me.”

She gulps, swallowing loudly before she speaks again. “I was young, Atomic. I was in over my head. I panicked and ran. I don’t know where else to turn. And Ellen, she was being Ellen…”

I lift my hand and run my fingers through my hair, then let my hand fall to my side. “You can’t turn to whomever you’ve been fucking the past six years?” I snap. “Don’t come at me and act like there’s been nobody. That you just walked out of here and didn’t slide into someone else’s bed. Not when I know better.”