Page 27 of Filthy Secret
“I need to get it myself,” she says. “It’s time. The more movement, the better.”
Dipping my chin in a single nod, I watch her make her way toward the kitchen as I follow behind her. She doesn’t say anything about me being close enough to catch her if she falls. But that’s my exact purpose.
I want to ensure that I catch her. That I’m close enough to her to save her. Because I made a promise to her and to that five-year-old kid that I would protect her. Always. And that is what I intend to do.
Fuck.
I’ve already started falling for the kid, and part of me thought he was mine. But just because he isn’t my DNA, that doesn’t mean he’s not mine. His biological father isn’t going to come back from the dead anytime soon.
So, in a way, he’s mine.
It’s a goddamn double-edged sword, and each time I think about the situation, I can see her side, too. I hate that. I want to be pissed. I want to hate her. I’m still going to angry fuck her the moment she’s able to handle me, but right now, I feel compassion.
“You okay, legs?” I ask.
She turns her head, her eyes finding mine. She’s standing at the sink, gripping the counter with her fingers, her knuckles turning white as she does.
“I’m okay,” she lies.
Closing the distance between us, I place my hand on the center of her back. She lifts her head to look at me, her lips pressing together in a thin line. I watch her, waiting for her to ask me something because it is clear that she is thinking about it, but she never says it.
Instead, she straightens and releases her lips, smiling as she stares at me. “I’m okay.”
“No,” I rasp, wrapping my arms around her and drawing her against me. “You aren’t.”
But instead of forcing an answer, I lean forward and touch my lips to hers. For the first time since seeing her, I slip my tongue into her mouth, and I taste her. It’s long, it’s consuming, and it is fucking everything.
Gently nibbling on her bottom lip, I hesitantly break the kiss. “But you will be. Swear to fuck, legs. You’re going to be okay.”
“I’ve ruined everything. Every part of my life is in shambles. I’ve always ruined your life. And now you’re here protecting me and swearing you’re going to be there for me… for us.”
My lips twitch into a smirk. “You done?” I ask.
Her eyes widen, and her lips part as she stares at me. “What?”
I chuckle as my hand lifts and my fingers grip the back of her neck as gently as possible, although since I feel like a pent-up teenager, I’m starting to lose my edge… and my control over every part of me.
“You ain’t ruined shit, babe. We’re gonna work through whatever the fuck this is, and we’ll come out on the other side. We always do.”
RYAN
We’ll come out on the other side. We always do.
We.
It’s been a long time since I’ve heard those words. He used to say that when we were together, but I never expected to hear them again. The way he says it, I know he means it. Or maybe it’s the way he’s looking into my eyes.
“I wish…” I begin, “that I had myself figured out six years ago. Because—all of this. I can’t believe I walked away from it.”
I’m positive that this is a different man in front of me than the one who fucked everything with legs and told me to get over it. The man who drank and smoked, who partied and ran around like he was a teenager but was really thirty years old. At least that’s what I tell myself. This cannot be that same man.
“Legs, neither of us had our shit together six years ago. If we’re going to go forward, we have to stop talking about the past. It happened, but we can’t change it.”
“Does that mean you forgive me?” I ask softly. Although his answer won’t matter once he finds out the real secret I’m holding. I’m so damn dirty for this. I’m disgusted with myself, but I can’t tell him, not yet.
He shrugs a shoulder. “I can try.”
Atomic’s hand falls from my neck. He takes a step backward and then turns toward the fridge. I watch as he tugs it open, bending slightly as he rustles around in there, then brings two bottles of water out.