Page 3 of Filthy Secret
I made a big mistake.
Huge.
Leaving through the back door of the clubhouse, I slip into the front seat of my car, start the engine, then grip the steering wheel until my knuckles turn white. I can hear the hard plastic cracking beneath my grasp, but I’m not strong enough to actually break anything.
The air conditioning blows into my face. I can’t tell if it’s hot or cold, but other than that, I don’t see or feel anything else around me.
I’m numb.
This was my last resort.
Atomic was my last hope.
It took all the courage I had inside of me to come out here. To drive the two hours from the small town where I live in Arkansas to here and ask. But I won’t beg. That’s where I draw the line, and Atomic knows that.
Harmony Springs, Arkansas population of four thousand is where I call home now. I love it there. It’s where my sister was running off to, where I followed her, where I stayed. I probably should have kept going, driven somewhere Ellen couldn’t have followed me or was too lazy to follow me.
I should have run hard and fast, somewhere, anywhere.
My driver’s door opens. Swinging my head around, I tip it back slightly and expect to see Atomic standing in front of me, but it’s not him.
“Clink,” I whisper.
I recognize him even though he’s got a new beard and is wearing dark sunglasses. There are just some people who you know on sight, no matter how much they have changed, and that’s Clink. His happy-go-lucky smile is too much to handle. He feels comfortable, and I hadn’t realized how much I missed him.
He dips his chin slightly before he crouches down in front of me so that we’re face to face, and I don’t have to crane my neck back to look up at him. He reaches up, wrenching his sunglasses off, and those kind eyes meet mine.
“It’s been a long fucking time, babe,” he mutters.
Smiling, I dip my chin slightly. “You’re the only person inside of that whole building who has a smile for me. How have you been?”
He hums, his gaze searching mine. “I’m not one to hold on to shit like that. It did hurt when you left, and it fucked a lot of people up. But it’s been six years. We were all young, you being the youngest of us all.”
“Maybe I should have fallen in love with you. Might have been easier on me.”
He chuckles. “Doubt it. I’m just as big an asshole as any other guy in that fuckin’ place, but you’re here, and I’m nosy as fuck, so wanna tell me why?”
Before I answer him, I feel someone watching me. Shifting my gaze toward the building, I see him watching us. Atomic’s arms are crossed over his chest, his chin is dipped, and his eyes are pointed and narrowed on me.
“No,” I whisper. “I need to leave.” He doesn’t move immediately, and I shift my gaze back to his. “I need to leave right now.”
Clink stands, taking a step backward. Reaching for the handle of the car door, I begin to shut it when I hear his voice. It’s warm and friendly. It’s like a blanket wrapped around my shoulders. I could listen to it all day long.
“You ever need to talk, Ryan, I’m still your friend.”
Giving him a small smile, I close the door, shift the car into Reverse, and get the fuck away from the clubhouse. I drive out of Pineville and head home. I thought about staying. I thought I could visit Atomic again after the shock of seeing me had worn off. But the way he was looking at me, watching me.
The anger on his face.
He doesn’t want to see me again, and I don’t blame him. He will never forgive me for what I’ve done, and in a few weeks, it won’t matter anyway. My sister’s pimp is going to come for me, then nothing will matter anymore.
I need to get my affairs in order now. I cannot focus on trying to find a way out of this because there isn’t one. At this point, I need to focus on tidying up the things in my life that have loose ends.
CHAPTER
TWO
ATOMIC