Page 52 of Filthy Secret

“You help me with dishes, and it’s on the house,” she replies.

“Can I get in on that action?” Nash asks.

Shawn snorts. “I would pay to watch you do dishes. Just take a damn cookie.”

A few moments later, Adam is sitting at a pub table with Shawn and Nash. All three of them are eating almond butter chocolate chip cookies, and I’m washing dishes while they enjoy themselves. I should probably be annoyed or something that they’re relaxing while I’m working, but I’m not. In fact, I think I like it.

I miss being so busy that I can’t even think.

Since my attack, I haven’t done much, and I’ve been feeling useless and lazy.

This makes me feel like I have a purpose again, and hopefully, I can come here every day and keep myself busy. I want to be so busy that I can’t think about the fact that Grover hates me. I want to be so busy that I can’t think about my sister betraying me and how I probably deserve it because of the way I betrayed Grover.

Over and over.

I deserve everything that’s coming back on me. It’s karma at its absolute finest, and I’ve brought it all on myself.

Every single part of it.

Once the dishes are finished, the cookies have been consumed, and I’ve packaged up the entire case of cookies, desserts, and even a cake, I look at Shawn expectantly. I’m not sure why I’m packing all of this up exactly.

“Where am I taking all of this?” I ask.

I expect her to say her car and that is that, but she doesn’t. “My car, because we’re going to a birthday party.”

“We?” I ask, my gaze flicking down to Adam, who is watching the exchange and taking everything in the way he always does. Silently soaking in every bit of information he can, whether he understands it or not.

“We,” Shawn says.

“It’s Guts’s birthday,” Nash announces.

I don’t know Guts, but I can only guess that this birthday party isn’t for kids. “I think I’ll stay home with Adam,” I murmur.

Nash snorts as he stands to his feet. “I’ll stay with him. You girls have fun. I think you need the night to relax,” he says, his eyes focused on mine, searching them for a moment.

I open my mouth to protest, but he shakes his head once. “I got Adam, babe. He will be safe with me.”

Adam will be safe with Nash. If there was ever anyone he could be safe with, aside from me and Grover, it would be Nash and King. They are the two best men in the world. But that being said, I can’t leave Adam.

“I can’t,” I whisper.

“Yes, you can,” Nash says.

I sink my teeth into my bottom lip as a flashback to six years ago clouds my vision. I walked away six years ago because I walked into a party, a patch party after a prospect had earned his patch and road name. I was working late, wasn’t supposed to show up at all. But I knew that Atomic would be staying the night, and I wanted to fall asleep beside him.

I loved him so much.

I just wanted to sleep and wake up with him every night until I died. Then I stepped into that bar, and it wasn’t just the fact that the whore was riding him. She was kissing him, and he was kissing her back.

Everything inside of me broke in that instant. It wasn’t the first time I’d caught him with a clubwhore, but it was the first time I’d seen him kissing another woman. It killed me right then and there.

I walked away from the Dark Horse MC, taking the fifty grand he had in the desk drawer in his office. I knew about that money because I counted it for him before he slipped it inside. Ellen had already been messing around with the Nomad Kings MC, and when I went to find her, we left with them.

When I left the clubhouse, I swore to myself that I would never go to another party there. They hurt too badly. It’s silly, I know. Not all the men do that, and I don’t even know if Grover would now, but I never want to know. I think I’d rather be the fool instead of having all the information.

At least when it comes to the club, the whores, and the parties.

ATOMIC