Page 64 of Filthy Secret
It’s the women.
The whores.
And then there is the fact that my sister is there.
Maybe that’s what is bothering me the most about this. My sister is there. I shouldn’t care, and I’ve decided that what she’s done is unforgivable and that I won’t allow her to manipulate me any longer. However, she’s still my sister. And as strong as I think I am, I know I’m not inhuman.
Once I have everything packed, for not only myself but also for Adam, I make sure to throw some of his favorite cars, coloring books, and puzzles into his bag, along with some DVDs, knowing that it’s no doubt going to be boring as hell locked in that place for God knows how long.
“I’m ready,” I call out as I step into the living room.
Nash, Grover, and Adam are all sitting on the sofa. Nash and Grover are still drinking their coffees, and Adam is watching another cartoon. This one is about Star Wars or something. I don’t really pay attention to them, but apparently, it’s very interesting because none of them move when I walk into the room and make my announcement.
“Are you ready?” I ask?
Slowly, all three of them turn to look at me, and they all wear different expressions of surprise on their faces. I almost laugh but decide against it. When I open my mouth to ask them something else, there is a knock on the front door that interrupts my question.
Though I don’t even know what it was going to be, not that it matters now, because that knock scares the absolute crap out of me, and every single thought in my head vanishes in an instant. My entire body is filled with ice.
My veins, my heart, my stomach. Every inch of me is a block of ice.
Nash and Grover stand to their feet. Grover moves toward the door, and Nash steps between me and Grover, a shield that keeps me safe from whatever is on the other side of that doorway.
I don’t know what it could be, and I don’t want to know either. Honestly, I’m ready to get to the clubhouse and be locked inside, surrounded by dozens of scary mean bikers, even if it means being surrounded by their whores as well. I can deal with that. I’d rather be stressed about them, annoyed and irritated at their existence, instead of this situation I’m standing in right now.
“What the fuck?” Grover grinds out.
It’s a man’s voice, but I don’t recognize it immediately. Clearly, it’s not Golden Joker because I have that asshole’s voice burned into my memory banks. I’ll probably never forget what he sounds like, not until the day I die.
Which, all in all, pisses me off because I was all ready for it to be him and this to be finished. I just want to be done and move on with my life with Grover. I kind of like the little life I’ve started to build with him. I want to keep it, nurture it.
I want everything, and I think I’ve lived enough of a life where I haven’t had much that I deserve. I deserve everything that I not only need but want, too. I’m going to be selfish when it comes to my family, what I want, and what I deserve. What my son deserves.
“Who is it?” I call out.
Grover turns his head. His eyes find mine, and he narrows them. “It’s your goddamn mother.”
Holy shit.
What the fuck is absolutely correct.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-FIVE
RYAN
It feels like I’m in a fog. I haven’t seen or spoken to my mother in eleven years. I walked out when I turned eighteen and never went back. As far as I know, she doesn’t even know I have a child. I hope she doesn’t. I don’t ever want Adam to meet her.
Looking behind me, I find Adam sitting at the coffee table. When his eyes meet mine, I can read the concern in his gaze. He knows me. We have been together every single day since the moment he came into my world.
He knows when I’m upset.
Maybe he shouldn’t be that in tune with his own mother. I’ve probably fucked him up in some way or another, but I don’t think I care because this kid is my world. Every single part of him is absolutely perfect.
“Stay there. No matter what you hear, ignore it.”
“Headphones?” he asks.