Page 18 of Undone

My wail bounces off the cold, sterile tile, echoing down the hall. Searing pain in my belly, then I’m numb.

Dead inside.

Just like the baby.

Our baby.

I wake up hours later, my mind fuzzy from anesthesia, mouth dry as cotton. A thin, scratchy bedsheet’s draped over me, and I’m cold all over.

King’s sitting next to the bed, head in his hands, staring at the floor. Monitors beep all around me, but otherwise the room is quiet.

I can’t breathe. I’m gulping at the air, and it burns my nose. Sharp and antiseptic.

He glances up, his gaze flat. He doesn’t move from the chair, doesn’t reach out to touch me, hold me, reassure me.

A pang in my chest, a tiny voice whispering it’s over, but I shove it away, try to drown it out.

It can’t be over.

A large fibroid decreased the blood supply to the baby.

I’m sorry, but the baby’s gone.

We did a D&C, cleared everything out. You lost a lot of blood, so we gave you a transfusion. You can always try again later.

A hot tear rolls down my cheek, and I sweep it away, open my eyes to ground myself back in the present.

The sound of the ocean waves rolls over me, soft and soothing to my soul. One of the reasons I came back here in the first place.

“Hey.”

A deep, low voice, so quiet I barely hear it. I glance over my shoulder as King walks toward me, a hand shoved deep in his pocket.

My stomach flip-flops as he closes the gap between us.

“Are you okay?” His lips press together, a deep V etched between his brows.

I swallow hard over the lump in my throat, swipe at my face to erase any evidence of pain.

“Sure.” I kick at the asphalt, heat flooding my system.

His leather boots appear next to my white Converse, the sharp scent of his cologne winding around me. Twinges of something I thought died a long time ago flutter low in my belly, and I ball my fists.

Don’t go there.

“Sorry about that.” His soft tone sends a shiver straight through me.

I clear my throat, try to force out sound.

“Not your fault. It’s fine.”

He steps closer to me, and my breath hitches in my throat, heat from his body tickling my skin. I should get away, go back inside, but I’m glued to the spot. Locked in his force field.

I lift my head, and our eyes meet. Instantly I know it’s a mistake.

I cannot—will not—fall for this man again.

His hand flexes; then he reaches out, touching my forearm. Lightning zings through me, burning all the way up my arm, my skin on fire.