Page 45 of Spring Rains
I watched him for a moment. “Levi,” I began.
He glanced up, a soft smile on his face, but it faded when he saw my expression. “Shit, what’s up?” he asked, his tone shifting to one of concern as he straightened. He went white. “Is it Quinn? Fuck?—”
“No, Quinn is great I’m sure.” I loved that his first instinct was to worry about his fiancé, and not about me.
He relaxed but placed a hand over his heart. “Don’t do that to me, shit, you come in looking like someone died, and I was…” He puffed out a breath, then pulled himself together. “Wait, if it’s not Quinn… then what’s wrong?
I rolled my eyes at him, shook my head, then hesitated, fiddling with the hem of my shirt. “I’ve got a proper date tonight, not one with other people, but just me and Noah on our own,” I began, the words feeling heavy in my mouth.
Levi’s eyebrows rose. “Yeah, Micah said that Daniel said that your mom said…” He blinked at just how many degrees of separation this gossip had traveled. “Yeah, over at the Italian over in Collier Springs?”
“No, I wanted to take him there, but with Fox, his son, at home, we’re doing it at his place. The diner, I mean. Which is great because Noah can cook, but then, I didn’t want him worried about having to cook.”
“I got the feeling he loves to cook for people.”
“Yeah, he does.” I sighed, feeling the weight of my messed-up thoughts. “I’m just… nervous, I guess.”
Levi leaned on his pitchfork, his expression turning thoughtful. “Nervous about the date or cooking or…?”
I swallowed hard. Christ on a cracker, this was embarrassing. Maybe I shouldn’t have brought this to Levi because it was too personal. “Never mind, this is stupid…” I turned to leave.
He caught me, which of course he did, given I had to take it slow on the uneven floor. “I’m here, I’m listening, and we’re friends, right? You can talk to me.”
“It’s embarrassing, okay?”
He glanced around, and his eyes lit on the bench that Rachel had placed on the slope above the house. It was a reminder that everyone needed to slow down and think about life. He led me there, then made me sit with a gentle push to my shoulders.
“Shoot,” he said as he took a seat.
“It’s about… after the date. You know if things go well and the kissing leads to…”
Something dawned on his expression. “Is it like a…” he lowered his voice. “A Viagra thing?”
“What? No. Jesus…” I waved at my groin, searching for the words. “Chris Junior works just fine, thank you very much.”
He snorted a laugh. “You call your dick Chris Junior.”
“No, I don’t. I was… fuck you, Levi. It’s the… otherthing…” I waved at my leg.
Understanding dawned in his eyes. “You’re worried about your leg? Wait. You’re worried how he’ll react… to your amputation?” He sounded so shocked, as if it had never occurred to him that anyone would have a problem with me at all. But shit, I’d been on a few Grindr hookups since losing half a leg and knew that not being whole in other people’s eyes was potentially the final nail in the coffin. I owned my own home, taught kids, played ball, and that was good right? It was just a nope on the whole leg thing. Or the un-whole leg thing. I smiled to myself at the stupid joke.
“Chris?” Levi pressed. “Anyone worth your time, anyone who truly cares about you, won’t care about that. And for what it’s worth, Noah seems like a good guy.”
“He is. He’s… I think he’s perfect right now.” I added the last words in an almost-whisper.
Levi grinned. “About time.” He placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “I’m so pleased.”
“It’s one date.”
“I saw the way he looked at you at dinner that night, and the way you were all doe-eyed over him.”
“I wasn’t ‘doe-eyed’.” He gave me a patented Levi look that called me on my bullshit, and I winced. “Look, it’s not just about the physical appearance, okay? The thought of someone who matters…” I didn’t have the words.
“There must be all kinds of positions you can use to take the weight off your knee.” He tapped his lip. “I’m thinking, if you’re on the bottom then?—”
I smacked his chest. “Asshole, that’s not what I meant.”
Levi was confused. “So, what else is bothering you?”