Page 70 of Secret Love
“I’ve never blamed you, man. Not once.”
His shoulders sink, unconvinced.
“Box.” I pause, waiting until he looks at me again. “They chose me because of what I could do, not because of what you did. All right?”
Boxcar exhales slowly. He understands more than anyone what I mean by that. He’s seen it with his own eyes.
The killer in me.
After a moment, he nods. “Wait—” He points at my chest. “Do you have the tat?”
“Yes.” I nod. “I have the tattoo.”
“Can I see it?”
“Box—”
“Dude, you have to let me see it.”
I roll up my shirt, exposing the black cobra inked on my torso, and his eyebrows bounce with wonder. “Happy?”
He smirks. “Damn, you’re taut.”
I drop it back down. “Decrypt the file, Box.”
Boxcar wanders back to his chair and sits down, gently pinching the flash drive as if it could come alive and bite him at any moment. He hesitates with his other hand tapping against his knees.
“Fox…” he finally says, “I have to ask.”
“Why do I need the file?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, how else would you expose the deadliest underground organization on the planet?”
“I was afraid of that…” He scratches his head. “You don’t. That’s the answer to that question. You fucking don’t.”
“I’m not here to debate it, Boxcar. I just need the file and then… you might want to lay low for a while.”
“Yeah, no shit. I’d ask why you’re so keen on killing yourself, but I’m pretty sure I already know the answer to that question.”
“They threatened her.”
“I noticed — along with the rest of the world.” He traces his thumb down his cheek where Dani’s gash now resides. “Look, I don’t want to be a downer on this bright and sunny conversation we’re having here, Fox, but I feel like I have a moral responsibility to point out that you’re in this file, too.”
“I know.”
“And you’re okay with this?”
“With them exposed, they won’t have a reason to go after her anymore.”
“Fox…”
“Can you do it or not?”
He holds up his hands. “Hey, I’m not saying I won’t do it. I’m pretty sure I still owe you like nine more favors after this one. I just want to make sure you know that you rotting in a cage for the rest of your life is a very possible outcome in this — and that’s the best-case scenario. The scenario directly below it involves torture and other very unpleasant things.”
I pause, staring him down. “It’s Dani.”
“She has no idea you’re doing this, does she?”
“No.”
“That’s noble as fuck, man.” He sighs. “You know, just once, I’d like to be the cool guy in the room.”
I shift around to sit on the bed as he plugs the drive into his laptop. “Don’t act like you wouldn’t do the same for Caleb.”
He inhales sharply but says nothing to argue against it. “This might take a while.”