Page 104 of Except You
Oh my god. Am I like my ex?
The thought hits me directly in my chest, and I struggle to breathe.
Beau cocks his head at me and then presses both hands to my cheeks.
“I just don’t want to discuss it now. It’s not what you’re thinking.”
It might not be, but I ruminate on it the entire way to Coop’s place to drop off Doggo and then spend even more time obsessing over it the entire way to the hotel that Beau reserves on the way to San Diego. I can’t not think about it.
Eventually, Beau notices something’s off because I’m quiet, my bottom lip chewed relentlessly, so much so that it splits open.
I really don’t want to be that annoying guy who clings, and yet, I can’t quite seem to help myself. I want to cling to Beau. I want him forever.
But it seems he doesn’t want me.
By the time we make it to the hotel, I’ve come to the conclusion that Beau wants to end things, and it puts me in a mood.
I scowl at the man behind the counter checking us in, and then grump the entire way to our room. As soon as the door closes behind us, Beau drops his bag and places his hands on his hips.
“What is going on? You’ve been scowling all morning.”
“Nothing,” I say, turning my eyes from his, not wanting him to see how wet they are.
“No, you tell me. This is supposed to be fun. Is this about Magnus? Matt?”
I sniff and shake my head. “No.”
“Then it’s me. What did I say? Was it because I said I wouldn’t move in with you? Because that’s all I’ve done.”
I shrug as I place my bag on the bed, unzipping it and staring inside. I sure hope I packed everything I need. Once, I ended up on a trip without any socks or shirts.
“Max,” Beau says, hugging my back, his hands landing on my stomach and squeezing me. “Don’t be upset. I don’t want you to be like this.”
“I just want you to live with me,” I say, my voice cracking.
I can feel his forehead press into the place between my shoulders and he sighs. “What if you get tired of me?”
“I won’t.”
He sighs again and then turns me around, his eyes meeting mine. I sniffle and rub at my eyes, the dust in the room getting to me. They must not have aired this space out properly.
“Fine. Okay, fine. Shit. I’ll move in with you. My lease is up at the end of April anyways.”
My heart stutters to a stop. “What?”
“You heard me. I’m moving in. We’ll be roommates.”
My smile wobbles and then bursts into a full grin. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, now stop sulking. Jesus, Max. It’s making my chest hurt, and I don’t want to go into cardiac arrest.”
I pull him into a hug. “You can have your own room and everything, but I’d like it if you shared mine.”
He sighs against me, his fingers curling into my shirt.
“Fine. If you insist.”
We spend the day wandering around downtown San Diego, Beau going through at least two snow cones, making his lips a dark cherry red, and making him utterly kissable. So I do it. Often. In public. I don’t even care anymore if people see. I had that one panic attack and it seems as if my brain has finally just decided it’s fine.