Page 44 of Except You

Magnus:

At least you’re trying. Want to see some more pictures?

Me:

Yes.

I don’t even hesitate, hungry for any crumbs he gives me. A second later, ten pictures filter in. Mostly of the kids, but two of Magnus and Sem, looking happy as fuck. Sem is gazing at my brother like he rules the world. Like he’s his king.

Me:

You all look great. Really happy for you, bro.

Magnus:

Me too. I’m very happy.

I can tell, just from those pictures. I can almost taste it.

I want that. I want to be that happy. Just as I think that, Doggo comes running up to me, sniffing at me happily. He’s been having the time of his life out here, chasing the birds and being trotted around by Beau’s parents. He sleeps a ton when he can, completely worn out.

I wonder if maybe he’d be happier out here than with me.

It’s a sad thought that I push away. I don’t need to be entertaining thoughts like that.

I glance down at my phone and send another message, not wanting this conversation to be over.

Me: I’d love to see you sometime.

I don’t expect Magnus to respond, but he does. Takes him a minute, but he replies that he’ll have to see. I don’t blame him. Not one bit. He owes me nothing, not after how we left things. Not after we barged in on his life and called him hateful, vile things.

None of us deserve to even look at him. If he ever lets us back in his life, we’d have to get on our knees and grovel, and fuck, I so would. I’d prove how much I’ve changed.

Because I have, right?

I’m a better man than I was even a few weeks ago.

I sigh and tuck my phone into my pocket and turn back toward the fire. It’s blazing now, and I wonder if they even worry about the possibility of a wildfire being sparked from this, but I guess it’s contained.

And they’re all having a great time. I make my way back to my seat and notice that Beau isn’t around the fire anymore, and neither is Diego.

My stomach turns, and I skirt around the people chattering happily and make my way into the house. When I don’t find them there, I tell myself to stop looking, to just let them be, but my feet drag me toward the barn.

I definitely shouldn’t go in there. I shouldn’t look, but I can’t stop myself.

I hear the horses neigh, and I swallow as I tiptoe through the dark space.

“Oh, fuck yes,” I hear Beau mutter, followed by a low grunt.

My feet stop their forward movement, and I hold my breath. Is he…is he getting fucked?

The thought simultaneously makes my stomach churn and my dick twitch between my legs.

“Oh fuck, yes, right there. There!” Beau says, and I find myself shuffling forward toward the sound of his voice. The horses huff as I move, but I don’t think anyone can hear me.

Diego and Beau are in a stall, Beau leaning against the wall, his pants around his thighs, his arms extended before him as Diego pushes in from behind him.

Neither of them can see me in their periphery, the two of them too focused on the other.