Page 64 of Brutal Lies

Chapter 32

Astrid

Deep down, I’m relieved not to have gone to Boston with Pierce. I thought we were going to hang out in the city, go to the art museum, and try to get a beer at a bar. But spending the night went way past my orbit of comfort. And I probably would’ve called Wyatt to drive me home if Pierce had insisted. And then everyone’s feelings would’ve been hurt. I suspect that Pierce has something to prove to the other boys, and I’m suspecting it’s true of Bryce too. Thinking about going to our secret room makes my pussy swell with want. But something is up with them, and the more time we spend together, the more I’m convinced that it’s not okay with me.

Classes end, and I’m done for the day. Economics is getting harder and harder to follow as my A grade slides down to a B. Getz may be our pool boy out of class, but in class he’s not putting up with any of it. We better learn, or we will get the grade we earn. As I walk toward the dining hall, my finger types out a message.

Astrid: I need those answers.

Bryce: Meet you later.

Astrid: I’m still sore?

Bryce: Good.

I sigh as I put my phone away in my bag. There’s a difference between thinking about sex and having it daily like it’s part of a routine. Wake up, go to class, eat lunch, fuck your boyfriend. I stop walking as a thought gatecrashes my consciousness. Is Bryce my boyfriend? Of course he is. But then what is Wyatt? Or Justin? As far as Pierce is concerned, he thinks we’re already there.

Why do I even like them? I look up, and I’ve wandered away from the academic buildings over toward the trail. My thoughts won’t leave me alone until I think this through. Why do I like them? Well, Wyatt is easy. He makes me feel safe and secure. I can fight for myself, but with Wyatt, I can be my rough self, and he won’t turn his nose up because I’m not posh enough. Wyatt’s like a polished version of a Monarch boy. Not afraid to work and express his anger, he cares what people think about him, but not enough to change.

And Bryce indulges me in every way. He’s the dream boy that every girl desires. Young and old giggle when he flashes a perfect smile at them. He lounges across the lap of luxury and wants me there beside him. He indulges me with naughty sex, but he doesn’t hide the fact that he wants me when the snobs are watching. He’s true to himself and his lust for life.

But Bryce doesn’t make me feel as sensual as Justin. Justin reminds me that I’m a girl. And man, do I ever feel sexy around him. I don’t feel ashamed of the way my body reacts as I expose myself completely to him. He brings out a softer side of me that I’ve had to hide to survive. My senses ride on a high when he’s around.

Pierce. I’m not quite sure yet about him. He’s always been a challenge and still is. He’s not the total asshole I thought he was, but still. He pushes me, and it’s obvious that we like to fight, but we also like to kiss. Now things have changed, and fighting isn’t a way to dominate. It’s a challenge to test each other to see how far we’re willing to strive. That, and I like talking shit with him. He’s the boy I’d like to have nasty sex with and talk sports scores with after.

I check my phone, and I’m going to be late for my study group with Gillian. I may not be able to practice with the team, but we can study together.

I don’t understand the boys’ agreement. Are they getting along so they can all date me? I might be a catch, but I’m not that special. That’s the thing. If I was like Charlotte, pretty and rich, I could see four guys taking turns to date me because they had to wait until I made a choice. One day I will have to make a choice, and I don’t know who I will choose. It’s past time to ask what’s going on, but I know that only Wyatt will tell me the truth.

“Hey, Astrid.”

I look up from the path inches before I run straight into Terri. My mouth drops open at the sight of him in a long navy wool coat that matches his school blazer underneath. The weird emo haircut has been replaced with a stylish layered one. His new glasses are tinted aviators, and he looks like he’s put on muscle in his shoulders. The boy has been groomed as if he’s posing for a boyfriend Instagram shoot.

“You look good,” I tell him. “Did Charlotte do this to you?”

He laughs, and then his eyes screw up as if he’s in pain. Terri looks over at the dining hall nervously, as if he might be caught in the act. Not referring to myself, BTW. He looks like he doesn’t want to be spotted by anyone. He clearly wants to hide, and I know from whom.

“Can we talk in private?” Terri asks, “Do you know where we can go?”

Annoyingly, the private bathroom pops into my mind, and I feel heat in my cheeks as I stare into his questioning eyes. I shake my head vigorously, knowing it would be insane to take him there. Nothing would ever happen, but still. Terri looks confused by my mixed signals when I grab his arm suddenly and tug him toward the faculty building.

“I know a place,” I reply.

We walk into the gallery that’s completely empty of art. The abstract painting exhibit has been taken down, and the walls are being repainted white for the next show. Terri and I walk over the drop cloths covering the wood floor toward a long bench in the center of the room and sit down.

He hesitates, looking at the floor and then his hands, and avoids my gaze. I’m not sure of what to do. We never had a tight relationship on our own. Roni was the reason that we hung together, and he dumped her. I guess if Charlotte plans to marry Terri, we should get along, but I doubt that’s going to happen. He looks too miserable to want to marry anybody. He looks like he’s ready to bolt.

“I miss her,” he sniffs, wiping his nose on his cuff. “I miss her a lot.”

I flatten my lips and shake my head. “I’m guessing you’re not talking about Charlotte?”

Terri looks at me as if the source of his misery should be obvious to everyone. “No, I miss Roni.” He pulls a hand through his hair so tightly that if he keeps it up, it will come out. “I was infatuated with Charlotte. Who wouldn’t be? She’s a beautiful package, but she’s got no soul.”

I sit up straight and take offense. After all, Charlotte is my sister. “You don’t know her that well if you can say that.”

“Have you really sat and listened to Charlotte and the things she says?” He stares at me as if he’s questioning my sanity. “I’ve spent hours with her, and I have no idea who she is. I mean, I know who she is, but I’m having a hard time connecting with her.”

“You mean now that the glow is gone? You’re not so attracted to the person underneath.”

Terri creases his brow. “I shouldn’t have said anything to you. I guess you’re closer than people think.”

That bothers me, him saying that about Charlotte and me, but I don’t have time to ask for details. This conversation isn’t about my freaky fucked-up world. “We haven’t been close since you started dating her,” I tell him coldly. “Roni would smother me in my sleep with my pillow if she knew I was talking about her business. But she’s still hurting over you.”

His eyebrows lift. “Really? She still talks about me?”

I nod. “She’s been miserable since you broke up, but I wouldn’t keep her waiting for too long. You know when Roni finally decides to move on, she won’t think about you twice.”

Terri looks away; lines of concentration cross his forehead. I stand up to go because I’ve said everything he needs to know. He’s got to decide if he’s finally going to grow a pair and apologize to Roni.

“I’d grovel,” I tell him. “And flowers would be nice.”