Page 68 of Spiteful Lies
“Oh, you’re up,” she says, walking into the kitchen.
I nod, and then put on the smile. “I want to go to my storage unit and get a few things.”
Her smile thins. “What things?”
I shrug, hoping I won’t offend her. “I have some nice bedsheets and a purple couch.”
Evelyn’s eyes widen almost comically, but I know it’s not a joke. “Charlotte, dear, sit down so we can talk.”
My body stiffens, and my breathing slows to almost nothing as I hold my breath. I hope she’s not about to kick me out. I have nowhere to go. Almost nowhere to go.
“Charlotte, you should leave your nice things in storage,” she speaks kindly and patiently. “They’ll get dirty here.”
I sigh with relief. She’s not overly offended. “Oh, I don’t mind. It will spruce the place up.”
Evelyn frowns and looks up at a prominent watermark on the ceiling where the paint has peeled away. “Charlotte, the only thing that will spruce up this place is a wrecking ball. You don’t want to stand out in this town. If you have nice things here, people will notice, and people get jealous easily.”
“I guess. But I only have.” I swallow hard. “Had nice things.”
Her brow creases as she gets up and walks to the stove. “Are you going to talk to Ms. Rawlins today?”
“Dr. Rawlins? Yes, she invited me over.” I look at Evelyn hopefully. “You’re invited too.”
Evelyn shakes her head. “I don’t belong in her home, and she doesn’t belong in mine. Did she ask you to stay with her? You can always stay here. I don’t like living alone. But…”
“I don’t want to go,” I respond firmly. “I have to say something to you that won’t make any sense, but I don’t want to see anyone I used to know except you and Astrid. I don’t want to have to explain why I’m not at Stonehaven anymore. Or why I’m not living in my father’s house. I mean…”
I pause before I can correct myself, and she touches my hand. My head spins as if I might be sick.
“I don’t want people feeling sorry for me. The way you’re looking at me now. I know you really mean what you feel, but the others will use pity to mask their feelings of superiority.”
“You sound like Astrid,” she replies plainly, “I doubt Dr. Rawlins feels that way.”
“She doesn’t, but I’ll see the people who do if I stay in her home.” I sigh, and my shoulders sink. “And if I live in her home, my last semester will be at Rockingham High. All the Stonehaven rejects go there, so I won’t escape Stonehaven.” I look away. “I just want to disappear.”
She sits back down at the tiny kitchen table and squeezes my hand. “I understand. When I came back here, people stared at me as if they were checking me out for signs of my former addiction. And if I do something a little off—like trip on my own feet—it’s not because the sidewalk is uneven. No, it means I’m stoned. I don’t get the benefit of the doubt, and whenever they see me, I know they don’t remember any of the decent things I did. They think of me as the addict whose baby daddy sent her off the rehab.”
I nod. Evelyn gets it.
“But Charlotte, it will only be for a few months. And sweetie,” she pauses, looking sad and worried, “I don’t think you realize how tough Monarch Academy is.”
I swallow, thinking back on that party a few nights ago. I felt a nasty chill when I saw one of the guys checking me out. “I know Nova and Derick. They seem nice.”
“They’re the exception and far from the rule. Some people are meant to leave, and others choose to. But the focus is always on leaving Weymouth. They may not have time to watch over you even though they sincerely mean to.”
I’m on my feet so I don’t have to see the pity in her eyes. It’s making me scared. “I’m not as innocent or helpless as people think. I gave that testimony in court. My challenges have been few, but they are deep. I will watch my own back if I have to, but I refuse to be a target at Stonehaven. You know what the difference is?”
She shakes her head, and I continue.
“At Stonehaven, they pay others to do their dirty work, but it’s all dirty.” I inhale and sit back down heavily. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to serve up the drama. I’m grateful to you for letting me stay here, and I appreciate Dr. Rawlins’ offer to help. But I have to do this. I’m going to have to do it sooner or later.”
Evelyn reaches out and strokes a strand of my hair behind my ear. “This is selfish, but it’s nice having someone here with me. You’re like my second daughter.”
It’s hard to smile, but I do it anyway. We never told her the truth, and she still thinks Howland is my father. Astrid and I agreed to tell her together, but I feel as sneaky as fuck in the meantime. Would she help me if she knew I was a complete stranger?
“I should get going,” I stand from the table and fold my arms around me. “I don’t want to be late. I may no longer attend Stonehaven, but Dr. Rawlins is strict.”
Getting an Uber to come to Stonehaven is simpler and cheaper than getting one from Evelyn’s apartment. I don’t wait outside but wait by the door, hoping nobody will pass me in the hallway and speak to me. I’ve already gotten a few stares, but no one talks. They watch. Eventually, they’ll talk, but I haven’t figured out what to say yet.