Page 47 of Vengeful Queen
Julia offered to come with me, but I asked her to draw a map instead. The grave isn’t far from the caretaker’s house—a large Tudor situated near to the main gate. I walk past rows of headstones, searching for their last name. I’m okay at first, but it’s taking too long to find it. My heartbeat starts to pound in my ears as I grip a bouquet of flowers in my hand. The cellophane crackles the tighter I grip it, and the sound makes my teeth clench.
“Charlotte, it’s here.”
Astrid stands in front of the last tombstone in the row. A gray granite block with the name “Andersen” etched on its smooth surface stands next to the service road. His name is listed below the last name, and there are spaces for three more. I stare at the dates and try to block out what I’m feeling. I’m not sad. I feel disappointed that this is all that’s left of my father. Was I expecting a sign or a message? Confirmation that he loved me?
We stand in silence with our separate thoughts until I eventually place the flowers on his grave. I picked roses because it seemed traditional, and I would never place my favorite blue hydrangeas here.
“What are you thinking?” Astrid speaks softly. “You can tell me.”
“It’s so underwhelming,” I reply. “He lived a quiet life, and now he’s gone. No adventures, or travel, or crazy encounters. The wildest thing he did was date my mother. And that ended in disappointment for him.”
“I’m sure he would have loved you if he had met you,” replies Astrid.
“He had my picture in his wallet.” I wipe a tear away. “But he had no intention of reaching out to me. Not that I blame him. I have no questions to ask about him. Nothing’s unresolved. Everything about it feels so final.”
Astrid looks over at me while I stare hard at the stone. “Do you want to leave?”
I nod. “Yeah, let’s go.” We walk along a few steps, and the panic I feel subsides. “For my entire life I thought I was the next best thing to royalty. I put my nose in the air when I said the name Howland. But I’m not special. I’m like anyone else.”
“Is it bad to be like us?” she asks.
I grin at her question as we approach the car. “It’s an odd feeling. I feel like I was set adrift, but it’s also soothing. I exist now without the baggage. What happens to me relies solely on me.” I smile at Astrid as I open the car door. “I think I can handle freedom.”
Astrid hops into the driver’s seat. “Focus on school. Asher told me you were thinking of dropping out. But school will give you a chance to explore all your options.”
I laugh as the little Prius zooms out of the cemetery gates. “You’ve explored some tasty ones. Are you marrying any of them? Are you going to go the traditional route?”
“No, marriage is not my life goal,” replies Astrid. “I don’t know too many people in my circle opting for a ring linked to a legal obligation. We made a pact to each other, signed a few joint contracts, and we’re good. What about them? I hear they’re living with you now.”
I stop the car at a light, and I smile at the irony of waiting at an intersection while I’m at a crossroads in my life. “Howland’s money will never make me a Howland. I’m done with keeping secrets. I’ve decided to take my mother’s maiden name, Dean.”
“Why not Andersen?” she asks.
“I want to keep my grandparents out of the spotlight,” I reply. “Charlotte Dean is better.”
“It sounds like a country-western singer.” Astrid giggles. “Bowen and Dean—gunslingers for hire. Capturing men’s hearts and wrestling them down to the ground with a wicked lasso.”
“They would freak the fuck out if I ever said that to them.” I laugh as the light changes, and we’re on our way home.
Astrid laughs harder. “Actually, I think they would be into it.”
CHAPTER 24
Charlotte
Instead of leaving town for summer break, the four of us opt for a staycation in our apartment over the Oak. I decide to rent the third-floor apartment above mine, and we treat the two apartments like one big house. The apartment on top has my separate bedroom and a dining area. Honestly, I’m sick of frat boy laundry in the second-floor bathroom and stepping barefooted on pizza boxes littering the floor.
“I’m heading over to the campus to study.” Asher slings his book bag over his shoulder. He received an incomplete for a math class instead of failing. He seems relieved at a second chance.
“How’s it going?” I ask before he hurries out the door.
He makes a face that’s a cross between pain and boredom. “Not bad since it’s my only class.”
I wait a few seconds and then walk over to the large bay window. I pull back the sheer curtain to spy on Asher down below. I like to sneak a peek at him as he stands on the sidewalk in his gray Ivymore T-shirt that stretches over his built shoulders. He drags his hand through his dark hair, looking very yum. He looks up from his phone as Hudson joins him. Double yum. They talk for a moment, but I can tell by their gesturing that something is wrong.
Asher looks up the street and takes a step forward as Jaxon runs into view and joins them. Kurt Ashford approaches from the direction of High Street. He raises his arms and shouts while his face turns an alarming shade of red. Whatever is happening, it’s escalating into a fight. Asher pulls Hudson toward the Oak while Jaxon holds a furious Kurt back.
Quietly, I unlatch the window to hear.