Page 22 of Taboo
“I know she did.” She looks up from the album before she gets to the end.
“We aren’t blood related Noah. What I’ve felt for you all these years goes deeper than that. I’ve loved you by choice, not by some fate of nature that we’re related and I’m forced into respecting you. I loved you because you understood me. You made me feel like I belonged somewhere.” Tears fill her eyes and it takes everything in me not to go around the bar and dry them like I have in the past.
“I’ve always loved you. But it was never enough for you.” I drink my whiskey and watch her finish the album while she fights the tears threatening to slide down her face. “Thank you for showing me this.” And before I can speak around the lump in my throat, she’s walked out of the room and is running up the stairs.
I pour myself another glass and contemplate how I’m supposed to react to her. No matter how many times I’ve tried to deny what I’ve felt over the years, she’s always there lingering in the background torturing my mind. I throw the last swig of my drink back and decide to go for what’s mine.
This time I take the stairs one at a time, playing in my head exactly what I’m going to say when I open her door. I should feel guilty coming at her like I have been now that she’s playing around with Levi, but we all know that isn’t real.
Standing next to the closed door, I can hear water running. She’s in the shower; I can’t think of a better time to tell her how I feel. She failed to lock the door. That’s something she’ll learn to do if she wants to keep me out.
I can see her naked silhouette behind the rough glass door. Her head is tilted back while she lets the water soak into her long hair. Her tits move just slightly as she runs her fingers through her hair. I could watch her like this all day, but I’m not going to miss this opportunity. Kicking my shoes off, I slide the door open and step in. It takes her a second to see me and just like I thought she’d do, she screams before she tries to cover herself.
I pull her hands into mine to calm her. “Stop. I’m just here to talk.” Her breathing is heavy and her eyes search me, trying to understand what I’m doing. I brush the hair off her cheek and lick my lips before I say one word. The water continues to drench my shirt and jeans.
“I’ve always loved you too.” The lump in my throat seems to be growing the more I talk. “You’ve been more than enough for me. But the truth is, I’m afraid I’ll ruin you.” I rub my thumb over her lower lip when she starts to say something. “Kali, it’s what I do. You deserve better than me, yet here I am fighting against everything I’ve told myself for years.”
“Noah,” she whispers against my fingers. Her grip on my jeans tightens and for a second I imagine ripping my clothes off and fucking her right here in Levi’s shower. Her face is tormented as she fights whatever is fucking with her mind and I know I need to leave this shower. I may be a giant dick, but this is even beyond my capabilities.
“Take your time finding a place. You can stay here as long as you need to. I’ll keep my distance, unless you come to me for more.” She doesn’t release her grip on me even when I drop my hands to my sides. She grips tighter, pulling me toward her.
I slide a hand behind her neck and pull her face toward mine. My kiss is soft and gentle. I know if I let this go any further, she’ll hate herself for doing anything while she’s still connected to Levi. I need to let her have time to figure things out for herself. If she decides she wants him, I’ll have to learn to live with it, but at least now she knows how I feel.
I step out of the shower and pull a towel from the rack. I even pull off my jeans so I don’t track footsteps through the house. If Levi sees my wet tracks trailing through his room, he’s liable to kill me in my sleep. If the tables were turned, that’s exactly what I’d do.
Chapter Fourteen
Levi
I see Noah’s truck in the driveway when I pull up to the house and my mind instantly goes into a panic wondering what he’s said to Kali. He hasn’t been exactly welcoming to her, so I hope he hasn’t said anything tonight to contradict me telling her she’s welcome to stay with us.
The house is quiet when I step inside until I hear a glass being set down in the kitchen. When I turn the corner, Noah is standing behind the bar, pouring two glasses of whiskey. “Have a drink with me.”
“What’s the occasion?” I drop my stuff on the table and take a stool at the bar, watching him closely as I try to figure out where his head is.
“Do I need a special occasion to drink with my best friend of fifteen years?”
“Thought you were going to be gone for a week.” He hands me one of the glasses and leans back against the cabinet, facing me while he slowly sips the whiskey from the glass.
“I drove for four days, then decided I was ready to be home.” I follow his lead and sip the drink, eyeing him over the rim.
“Four days of driving. It’s been a while since you’ve pulled that stunt.” I know him. He only drives like that when it involves Kali. He uses the road as his thinking time, only in the past it was for two days at a time.
“Yeah, I guess it has.” His voice becomes lower when I hear footsteps behind me. I don’t look back to see Kali, I know it’s her by the look on his face.
She sits next to me, not saying a word while she watches Noah turn and pull out a bottle of tequila. “I think it’s time we all have a shot together.” His eyes lock on hers while he pours the first shot, then he doesn’t make eye contact with her again. I can tell he’s up to something and I’m half tempted to beat his ass just for what my mind is concocting as a possible scenario of his intentions.
“To fucking off in the past, fucking for fun in the present, and fucking up in the future.” He lifts his shot glass and holds it over the bar as he waits for us to both join him. I raise mine and she slowly follows, both of us looking at him like he’s a mental case ready to blow.
“That’s a lot of fucking, my dear friend.”
“You should relate to that,” he shoots back quickly, pouring us all another shot.
“Noah, what are you doing?” Her voice is low, almost like she’s scared to poke the crazy that’s lingering in the room.
“Can’t a guy just have a few drinks with his friends?” He hands her the shot glass again, both glaring imaginary daggers into each other’s eyes before she takes it.
“One more and I’m going to go shower the trashy whores off me,” I speak up, interrupting their intense zoned in behavior. There’s obviously something going on between these two and even though I’m finding myself falling for Kali, I won’t be a barbarian and push her to feel the same for me when I know how she’s felt about Noah her entire life. She has to fall for me because I’m the better option, not out of guilt.