Page 59 of Necessary Cruelty

But I’m honest enough to admit that’s a lie.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out they’re headed for the pool house where Vin hosts all his legendary parties. I wonder if he is going to finish with her what he started with me. The idea makes me feel dirty and inadequate.

It makes me feel used.

I tell myself I don’t care. They’re welcome to each other. I hadn’t been lying when I told Vin that he wouldn’t have a problem finding someone stupid enough to marry him. Sophia will fit in well as another gilded fixture in this cold, dark place.

Better her than me.

Jake squeezes my hand and guides me toward the dance floor after they’re gone. His touch is respectful, but demanding. I imagine what his hands might feel like on other parts of my body, but that thought doesn’t arouse anything more than mild interest. I know it would be nice, but not earth-shattering.

As much as I like Jake, there isn’t any passion here.

Vin makes me burn, with hate and a dozen other things I wish I didn’t feel.

But what good is pleasure when it is always accompanied by pain?