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“This.” He gave me the widest, cheesiest fake smile. “It’s a dead freaking giveaway.”
I nudged him. “Does it bother you at all? Me and Cassie?
He was puzzled. “Why would it?”
“Because I’ve noticed how much you like her.”
“Well sure, I love Cassie,” he said, still looking perplexed. Then he seemed to catch my meaning and gave me a tremendous eye roll. “Oh, Curtis, come on. Were you seriously thinking I had some kind of a crush on Cassie?”
“Maybe,” I admitted. “I’ve been known to be wrong before.”
He crossed his arms, obviously offended. “Yeah, you’re totally wrong now.”
“Okay, okay, I get it. You love Cassie like a sister and that’s all.”
Brecken grinned. “I know that’s not quite the same way you love her.”
“I didn’t say….”
I couldn’t quite finish the sentence. After all, didn’t I love Cassie? It might be a little too soon to shout it from the rooftops but I couldn’t convincingly deny it either.
Brecken noticed my hesitation and laughed at me. I shoved him playfully.
“Someday you’ll go wild over a girl and understand what it means to lose your mind a little,” I promised him.
Brecken didn’t laugh this time though. His expression was suddenly anxious.
“What if it doesn’t happen that way?” he asked quietly.
I shrugged. “It can happen a million different ways but it’ll happen at some point.”
“No.” Brecken shook his head slowly. “I mean, what if it’s not a girl I’m wild about?”
I looked at my little brother and saw the worry in his face. I understood what he was telling me and I also understood that this might be the first time he’d ever said it out loud. He should have had a parent here to talk to but all he had was me and he was terrified because he had no idea what I would say next. This would be one of the most important conversations we’d ever have. I couldn’t fuck it up.
I touched his shoulder so he’d know everything was okay. Then I told him the truth from my heart. “You should be wild about whoever you want, Brecken. He’ll be the lucky one.”
Brecken nodded and his eyes misted over. “Okay, Curtis.”
I opened my arms. “Come here, kid.”
My little brother fell into my arms and I held him the way a father would hold his son. I hoped I was doing it right.
“I love you, Breck,” I told him, my voice cracking with emotion. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here for you.”
He let out a sob and then choked out, “I love you too.”
Then we stopped all the tears because there was no reason for them. This was a good day. We walked around the mall for a little while and then Brecken decided he was hungry for real so we got some old-fashioned greasy hamburgers and fries. We visited a bookstore and I bought Brecken a couple of graphic novels that he’d been wanting. We’d never be rich and I couldn’t afford to give him everything I wanted to give him, but these days I was glad I had a little cash to get him something special now and then.
“Is Cassie coming over later?” he asked when we got back to the apartment.
“I hope so.”
“Me too. I’m glad you guys are together. You just seem to fit somehow.”
I grinned. “I agree.”
Cassie had given Brecken some old music posters to hang on the walls of his bedroom now that he had one. There was also an art poster with pictures of melted clocks that Cord had asked him if he wanted. I thought it was weird but Brecken liked it so we fixed it to the wall using poster putty. Then I asked Brecken if he wanted to play cards or something but he said he just wanted to hang out in his room.