Page 15 of 7 Nights of Sin
"But you still don't like him for what he did, so it obviously still bothers you."
"It doesn't," I said quickly. "He bothers me. He's rude and presumptuous, and he wouldn't be in as deep a problem as he is if he knew how to handle himself with anything even approaching grace."
There was a little smile playing around Sam's mouth, and I narrowed my eyes at her. "Don't look at me like that," I said. "I'm serious. He's his own worst enemy here, and he doesn't even seem to care. I don't have any interest in anything other than getting this done, getting my promotion, and washing my hands of him and his drama forever."
"Sure," she said, nodding. "I can understand that. I mean, having to work close with an ex sounds terrible, really. But then, all of my exes are a different breed of horrible."
"He's horrible, too," I muttered.
"I can tell," she replied. "But you know what? He needs you, not the other way around. Sure, doing this well is going to fast track you to something you should have already had, but without you, his whole career could be in danger. So you have the upper hand. You won."
I let her words linger in my head as I got back to work, wishing her a good night.
I won. In the end, I wasn't so sure. Kevin needed my help, but that was only because he had so much to lose. He had money and fame and the attention of the entire country, and even some countries overseas if the news was to be believed.
He had his dreams, all the things he'd wanted for himself when we were younger, and I had... What did I have?
A job that I enjoyed and was good at. A nice apartment in the city. Friends who cared about me.
And that was pretty much the end of the list. I knew I could do more with my work, and one day I would get the chance to, but sitting there in my office as it got later and later, I couldn't help but feel like something was missing.
And that pissed me off even more. Because nothing was missing, aside from a promotion and more responsibility. I had all the things I'd been working for, and it should have taken more than just a few days dealing with Kevin for me to start getting wistful for the way things were back then.
Because I knew from experience that those things didn't last.
With a frustrated sigh, I closed out of my programs and shut down my computer, shoving my laptop into my bag and gathering my things.
It was late, and I was tired. All I wanted was to go home, shower, and then dump myself into bed so I could get up and do it all over again in the morning.
* * *
I loved living alonemost of the time, and I knew I was lucky to be able to afford a nice place in the city on my own, but there was something about coming home to a dark, empty apartment at eleven on a weekday that was just...depressing.
That and the irritation that still coiled around me just made my mood worse as I stripped off my work clothes, leaving them in a heap on the floor of my bedroom for the moment.
I got in the shower, hoping the hot water would work out some of the tension in my neck and shoulders, but it seemed to just be making it worse.
I inhaled deeply, letting the lavender scented steam wash over me, and then cleaned myself up, washing my hair and my body quickly.
I got out and dried off, rubbing the towel through my hair before putting it back on the rack and walking naked back to my room.
The clothes on the floor were just going to bother me, so I picked those up and put them in the hamper to deal with another day, and then sat on the edge of the bed with a sigh.
I was too in my head. It happened sometimes when I worked late. Whatever I'd been chipping away at all day got a hold on me, and it was hard to let it go so I could sleep.
It didn't help that I had to think about Kevin all the time for my job, so it made sense that he was on my mind. It didn't mean anything other than I worked too hard, and I already knew that.
I just needed something that would take my mind off of it and let me relax enough to go to sleep.
My eyes lit on my bedside table, and I pulled the drawer out. There, nestled between my headache medicine and reading glasses was my vibrator and dildo, and I bit my lip for a second before shrugging.
Whatever. I deserved a good orgasm or two before I went to sleep. I'd been working hard.
Grabbing both of them, I laid them beside me on the bed and made myself comfortable, flipping off the light and settling in. I closed my eyes and let out a sigh, finally feeling some of that tension bleed from my body.
Slowly, I dragged a hand down my skin, starting up at my collarbones and working down, skimming the pads of my fingertips over the soft, supple skin of my breasts.
They weren't large, just about a handful and a half, but the nipples were hard and peaked before I even got to them, from the cold air and being slightly damp still from the shower. That made it easier for me to grab one of them between two fingers and give it a gentle twist.