Page 6 of Potent Desire 5
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Isabella
I’ve drifted in and out of a sleep state ever since I spoke with Oswald. My body is exhausted. But it won’t allow me to sleep, out of fear of what might happen if I do doze off. This time, Benjamin Winters is sitting beside the door, when my eyes open weakly. The dim shades of early evening are creeping into the bedroom. Benjamin’s reading a novel, from the spine I can see it’s Douglas Adams, but I can’t make out the title.
Benjamin’s been a part of the Braddock household for as long as I can remember. If I hadn’t known as much as I do about the three families, I would have assumed Benjamin was kin, rather than consigliere to Oswald. Is that even the right term anymore? Consigliere. My father traded traditional Italian titles for a modern style a long time ago. A right-hand man, that’s what Benjamin would be labeled now, as unoriginal as it sounds.
He doesn’t notice me right away, but an unstoppable cough catches his attention. Benjamin looks up from the book, dashing me the charming smile of someone more sympathetic to my situation than he ought to be. I can’t help but feel this will turn into one of Oswald’s games. I stay on guard, not defensive, because I’m too weak to fight, but mentally I need to stay strong.
“Miss Romani,” Benjamin says. He closes the book, setting it down on the floor beside his chair. “Or do you prefer Missus Braddock?”
My face scrunches up at the question. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. Not with everything that’s happened since the wedding. Missus Braddock does have a nice ring to it though. I guess I’m not much of a Romani, having been settled in Hannibal forever.
We really have disgraced our namesake.
Benjamin’s mention of my new name; Braddock, makes me think of him. Of Maddox. The man, who I know is doing all he can to find and save me from this torment.
A brief, yet heartwarming memory of Maddox’s reassuring smile sparks in my mind. Maybe it’s my fear of being trapped in this place that has me thinking about him constantly. Or maybe, it’s because I’d have missed him anyway, even if I’d managed to run away and get out without harm.
The more I dwell on it, the more I hope it’s the latter.
“Isabella, please,” I reply. Not wanting to make a decision like this on the spot.
“Isabella it is,” Benjamin says. “How are you feeling?”
“My head’s killing me. I’m a little nauseous. I’m sca…” I cut myself off before I say scared. If he’s here to intimidate me, I don’t want to fuel his fire.
“You don’t have to be scared,” Benjamin waves a hand. He leans back in his chair, rolling up the sleeves of his blue fleece sweater. “Between you and me, Oswald’s all bark and no bite on this one. I just hope Maddox doesn’t do something… silly.”
“Silly?”
“Men do strange things when the ones they love are in danger,” Benjamin chuckles.
The ones they love. My cheeks start burning, and they’re probably red as a lobster by now. So, he really does love me then? Not just for show and power? I suppose I knew it already, but hearing someone else say it solidifies the truth.
“I’d know. But let’s not talk about that. Would you like aspirin for your head? Toast for your nausea? They told me to keep an eye on you, but that doesn’t mean I can’t make things more pleasant,” Benjamin continues.
“No, it’ll pass. I think. I hope,” I reply adjusting my position in the bed with a few labored movements, until I’m sitting up and facing Benjamin properly. “I guess you’ve known Maddox a long time then. So, you’re a good judge of his character, I mean.”
“I’ve been around since before his birth. I got drawn into all this,” Benjamin waggled his hand towards the door. He meant the mafia and the life of crime in general, I gathered. “Through his mother, funnily enough. That’s not really right. We were friends once upon a time. She introduced me to Oswald and well, the rest, as they say, is history.”
“Is that right?” I felt a cheeky grin growing on my face. If Benjamin wanted to make this easier, why not do so by finding out more about the man I was married to? The man, I hoped was trying to save me. “Has Maddox always been like this? So… intense?”
“Yes and no.” Benjamin averted his eyes. “Once upon a time, Maddox was a boy. Just an average little guy, running around and playing with Action Man dolls, or whatever they played with back then. But Oswald, he’s got a way of corrupting people. Even the best.”
Benjamin sounded grim. “Oswald taught him how to shoot a gun at thirteen, and made him use it at sixteen. That’s when Maddox changed, and not for the better. However, when he speaks about you, Isabella, well, I see that little boy in the backyard again. Running so carelessly and free. If I had to hazard a guess, I might even say happy.”
That’s a bitter pill to swallow. It’s no one’s responsibility to be the source of happiness for another. And I know I shouldn’t feel bad for what I’ve done, especially trying to run off to find a better world than the one I live in.
But I do. Looking at Benjamin, I see his sorrow. He's practically sweating it out. Benjamin knows something I don’t, and it’s bothering me. Will asking bring answers I can’t stand to hear? Probably. But I don’t think that’s going to stop me.
“Then, why do you sound so worried?” I ask.
“As I said, men do foolish things for those they love. Especially our kind of men.”
Benjamin's getting uncomfortable with the hard topic. I can tell by his tensed-up posture, and his eyes, which are scanning the room awkwardly, trying to avoid mine. I don’t know if this is some game or trickery from Oswald Braddock or not, but in case it’s not, I don’t want to keep Benjamin strung out.
“How about you tell me some more about Maddox then?” I say. This is the best insight I’ll probably ever get. Maddox isn’t the type to share, at least without being pressed, so why not learn through a third party?