Page 27 of The Quit List
“I think you’re who I’ve been looking for,” she repeats, with confidence. Her eyes are full of something that looks suspiciously like… hope.
Oh no.
Oh no, oh no.
“Holly,” I start gently. Kindly. “That’s very flattering and I appreciate it, but I’m not looking for any sort of rela?—”
She suddenly dissolves into laughter.
What?
My frown only deepens as I stare at the woman cackling before me. She continues like that for a few more moments before wiping a tear from her eye. “Ohh, that’s funny,” she says happily. “No, no. I don’t mean I want to date you.”
She puts so much emphasis on the word you, I’m not sure if I should feel relieved or offended.
“Okay. That’s, uh, good to hear.”
She giggles as she pats me on the arm. “No offense or anything.”
“None taken,” I somewhat lie.
There’s a silence.
“So…” I let the word hang in the air between us like a tightrope.
So what do you want, Holly?
“Right!” She snaps to attention. “I don’t want to date you, but I do want you to help me find someone I actually want to date. Someone who wants to date me, too.”
I scratch my temple as I look at her, trying to work out if she’s serious. “You want me to help you find someone to date.”
“Yes.”
She looks serious. Hopeful, even, her shiny pink lips tipped upward as she stares at me.
I stare back at her quizzically, still trying to work this out. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Holly, but I’m pretty sure we have different dating goals and… intensities.”
“I know.”
“So why are you looking for my help?” I glance her over. “Scratch that. What is so urgent that you would run all the way here to ask for my help?”
“You were right about Emmett! As unbelievable as that sounds. So even if I’m looking for a long-term commitment and you’re looking for… I don’t know, your next tawdry affair, you clearly have a talent that I am sorely lacking. So I need to know: what’s your secret?”
I can’t hold back a bark of a laugh. No less because who, in this day and age, can say tawdry affair with a straight face? “There is no ‘secret.’ I mean, I don’t have, like, a strategy or outline for this sorta thing. Just stay clear of clowns like Keith and that loser who stood you up. You can do better than that.”
“But how?” She tilts her head and smiles at me. “Someone recently told me that I can’t read people.”
“Now, who on earth would have said that?” I grin back.
“Oh, some jerk.”
I snort with laughter. “Well, this jerk is very sorry.”
“No, I think you were right on that point, too. But if you so choose to feel sorry, I know of a way you can make it up to me…”
I arch a brow at her and her cheeks pinken a little as she points at me.
“Stop that! I don’t mean like that.”