Page 38 of The Quit List
“It’s to the point,” I reply, defensive. “Makes it clear what I’m looking for.”
“It makes you look like a lunatic, is what it does.”
My nostrils flare. “You’re kind of rude. Has anyone ever told you that?”
“You wanted me to be honest, right?” He peers at me and I give a very, very small nod. “Look. Between the list of things you want in a partner and your dating app profile, all I’ve learned about you is that you… want a partner.”
“What do you mean?”
He waves his hand towards my phone screen. “Where are you in all of this? I see a whole lot of ‘wanting to settle down’—which, like I said, there’s nothing wrong with wanting—but I don’t see Holly, the person sitting in front of me.”
My frown deepens. “Go on.”
“Well, right now, I see a woman who’s smart. Has a super funny and sarcastic sense of humor. Currently has a smudge of hot sauce on her chin.” His eyes drop down to my mouth and my hand flies to my chin. He smirks. “Kinda uptight on the surface, but seems to have a deeper spontaneous side of her that is just aching to be shaken up. Try something new, if given the opportunity.”
I’m weirdly flattered by this, despite him calling me uptight. Jax is apparently fond of doling out the tough love, but I’m here for it.
“Thank you. I think.”
“I’m not done,” Jax replies. “When I look at both your Spark profile and that hit list of yours, I see none of this. I see none of you.”
I suck in a breath, almost scared of my next question. “What do you see?”
Jax meets my eyes shamelessly. “Desperation.”
“Again, rude!”
“No. Again, honest. I’m not saying you are desperate, I’m saying you look desperate.” His eyes are still burning into mine, but they’re not sparking with their usual playfulness. He’s being sincere. “No wonder you’re not attracting guys you click with, or even like. You’re not giving them anything they could possibly click with. You’re like… fodder for all the creeps of the internet right now.”
I want to be offended. Very offended.
And I want to tell Jax he’s wrong. Very wrong.
But what I know is that I’ve been on so many terrible dates with said creeps of the internet that I was practically forced to come to him for help. And he hasn’t been wrong yet.
Tough love, indeed.
I suck up my pride (what’s left of it, at least), and look at the rude-but-apparently-well-meaning man in front of me. “So, what you’re saying is that I’m not showing enough of myself and my personality in my profile, and I’m not looking for enough of their personality in my hit list?”
He nods. “Exactly. Goals and circumstances and external qualities only go so far for compatibility, and for chemistry. You have to dig deeper.”
“Well, you could have said it like that. That would have been way nicer.”
“That was to the point. Making it clear what I was talking about.” He throws my own words back at me, and I have to chuckle. He continues more gently, “You’re giving these guys nothing to connect with past ‘wife me up and let me have your babies.’ Which, honestly, probably has most reasonable guys running for the hills despite how hot you are, and all the unreasonable guys contacting you solely because they think you’re hot and also desperate.”
“Jax!”
He leans forward and wipes the sauce that I apparently did not remove from my chin with his thumb. His touch is gentle, but the pad of his thumb is rough, and the sensation against my skin makes me shiver.
“Am I wrong?” he asks.
I pause. Push away all bizarre shivers and thoughts of Jax calling me hot, and consider what he’s said…
My parameters have been clear from the beginning. And yet, I’ve gone on dates with so many men who appeared, on Spark, to fit the bill of my ideal man, but not one of them has been in the least bit compatible with me in real life.
“Well, aside from all the ‘hot’ stuff…” I muse. “I guess you might have a tiny point. So, what do I do next?”
“You write a bio that tells people who Holly is,” he says, a twinkle in his eye. “But first thing’s first, we’re gonna need to replace that picture on your profile.”