Page 61 of The Quit List
But as I push up on my other foot, the kayak rocks precariously and I almost go ass over teakettle into the water. Somehow though, Jax keeps his promise and manages to both steady the shaking boat, and hold my hand as I sit without losing my balance.
I stretch my feet as far as they’ll go in front of me and smooth down my dress.
“Feeling good?”
I nod. The boat is small and my legs are cramped, but I feel okay. “Yup.”
“Wanna take your dress off before you start?”
“Are you being pervy or asking a legitimate question?”
“Both,” he says innocently.
I snort a laugh. “What would the reason be for taking it off?”
“In case you tip over.”
“Tip over?!” I squeak. “You never said anything about tipping over!”
“Because I knew you wouldn’t get in the boat if I did.”
“Seriously, I hate you.”
“You can do this, Holly.”
Deep down, I know I can. The last few months, whenever I’ve tried to step out of my comfort zone, I’ve always gotten flustered. But when I push myself to do it, I end up appreciating it. Feeling proud of myself.
And Jax hasn’t steered me wrong yet.
“You can swim, right?”
I gulp. “Right.”
“And I’ll give you a life jacket. Worst that could happen is that you get a bit wet. No big deal.”
He’s so annoyingly casual and assured about everything.
But I must say… It is motivating.
“Hold the boat steady again?” I ask, and with a sigh, I lift my butt so I can wriggle my dress off.
The lilac bikini I’m wearing underneath isn’t anything fancy. It’s pretty plain and modestly cut, but the visible appreciation in Jax’s slate eyes makes my stomach burn.
Clearly, he reacts to me, too. And this makes me feel good—even if it is just plain old surface-level attraction, it feels nice to be on the receiving end of it.
I remind myself that Jax is a man, and he probably has this reaction seeing any female with a pulse in a bathing suit.
But the odd thing is, in the little while I’ve known him, I’ve never actually seen or heard about him going out with anyone. Whatever his so-called casual dating life looks like, he keeps those cards pretty close to his chest and away from our conversations—although I guess that makes sense, because my dating life is the source of this unlikely friendship between us, not his.
Our eyes catch for a moment, but he quickly looks away. Grabs the life jacket currently slung over his shoulder and passes it to me.
A couple of clicks later, my life jacket is secured and Jax is handing me a paddle. He pushes me into deeper water and…
Everything goes okay.
From his position standing shin-deep in the shallows, Jax gives me advice on how to sit and position my body. How to hold the paddle. How to use it.
Learning on the job, he calls it.