Page 91 of The Quit List

“No, but I’m pretty sure you’re about to tell me.” I attempt a laugh, but my voice cracks.

He moves closer. So close that I can smell the salt on his skin, feel the heat radiating off of him. “I think that, up until now, you’ve only ever dated boys. And that right now, you’re wondering what it would feel like to actually be kissed by a man.”

His statement catches me totally off guard. “Excuse me?”

“You wanted Dylan for years, Holly. And he’s still a boy. Peter Pan. He might be over thirty and he has a good job and all that crap… but he never grew up. I think now you’re seeing that for yourself, and realizing you want a man, not a boy.”

“Okay, fine. Maybe Dylan’s a bit of a man-child, I’ll give you that. But before him, I…” I trail off but have nothing to offer, because like I said, my dating experience is limited and boring. But I feel derailed by Jax’s words and I’m currently scrambling. I attempt a flippant smile. “You think you’re more of a man than everyone who came before you?”

“Yes.” His voice is grave with no trace of its usual humor. “I do. And more than that, I don’t think anyone’s ever kissed you properly before.”

The gall of this makes me simmer with indignancy. “Dylan was a very good kisser, thank you very much.”

Although I’m not sure that he was. The last time we kissed, it felt sloppy. Rushed. Like I was a dirty little secret, and not a moment to be cherished.

Jax’s slate stare stays steady. “Dylan is a moron who didn’t take the time to learn you, to know you, to work you out. To figure out what makes you tick. What makes you squirm. What makes you sigh with pleasure.”

I put my hands on my hips. “And what makes you think you’re the expert on what makes me sigh with pl?—”

In return, he reaches out one large hand and skims his knuckles against the side of my face before cupping it with his palm, his callouses dragging against my sensitive skin.

“I’m just saying, Holly. If I ever were to kiss you….” He tilts my chin in his big hand so that my eyes are forced to meet his rapidly darkening gaze. “I’d make damn sure I did it properly.”

My heart is pounding in my chest, my rational thoughts thick and hazy with desire. I thought I was desperate to kiss him at the club that night, but that feeling pales in comparison to this one, here and now, in front of the fire with nobody around for miles.

It’s me and him. Him and me.

And I know I’ve got to do it. Seize the day, no regrets.

I keep my eyes locked on his as I whisper, “So, kiss me.”

31

JAX

I’m not sure what I’m doing right now, but I’m also not sure I’m capable of stopping.

Everything in me is absolutely aching to kiss her so thoroughly that she forgets Dylan’s name.

Hell, until she forgets her own name.

At this point, our chemistry is absolutely undeniable. Electric, even. I know kissing her would be incredible, that I’d kiss the living daylights out of her until the earth shatters beneath her.

But I’m also aware that underneath all those crazy feels are actual feelings that are developing at an almost alarming rate.

In a few short weeks of knowing her, Holly Greene has become the first person I think about when I wake up in the morning, the laughter that keeps me going through my day, and the person I crave when I go to bed alone at night.

Which, in most circumstances, would mean kissing her would be a good idea. But in this case, it’s all the more reason not to kiss her.

I can’t be the guy who gives her everything she wants. Everything she deserves.

The last guy that kissed Holly did it with entirely dishonorable intentions, and she got hurt. And I’ll be damned if I’m ever going to do anything that could potentially hurt her.

Dylan may not have been her Prince Charming in the end, but I’m no damn prince either.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” I say, levelly as I can for a man whose pulse is currently in double time.

“I think it is,” Holly says with a little frown. “You might actually have a point about the men—I mean boys—I’ve dated, and so I clearly need the experience kissing men. For all I know, I could be a terrible kisser. Maybe you could give me some tips. Some changes I could make to be better.”