Page 39 of Tangled Decadence
I let out a harsh, unflattering laugh. “You’re not really that confident.”
“I am.” Again, he leaves no room for insincerity. “You’re the most capable woman I’ve ever met, Wren Turner. I have no doubt that you’ll make an exceptional mother.”
I squirm in place. “That’s a lot of pressure.”
“And you’re not alone, you know. You have me.”
I know he doesn’t mean that in a romantic way, but it certainly sounds like it. Or maybe I’m just hearing what I want to hear. “You have your own life.”
“My life will revolve around my son. My family. My only purpose is to protect the two of you.”
I’m vulnerable right now and it’s making me careless. What about when you meet someone else? What then? The question is on the tip of my tongue before I pull it back. Worst case, I sound jealous. Best case, I sound needy, clingy, desperate.
Neither one is a good look.
But then, I haven’t been rocking the best looks lately. Nervous as I am about having this baby, I’m also very, very ready to not be pregnant anymore. I’m ready to do away with my massive stomach and midnight bladder cramps and spine pain at all hours like I’m being sniped from a distance.
“So…” Dr. Liza walks back into the room with a fresh container of vitamins for me. “Shall we talk about the delivery?”
“What about it?”
She winks and gives my knee a friendly little pat. “I thought we could discuss options. The baby could come any day now and we should have a plan in place.”
“Um… push the baby out?”
Laughing pleasantly, she takes a seat on her stool and crosses her legs. “Some women opt for C-sections in advance. But personally, I don’t recommend going that route unless there’s a medical reason for one. You’re young and healthy; I see no reason why you shouldn’t have a natural labor—if that’s what you want, of course.”
“I want to go the natural route. It’s what Rose and I always discussed.” I cringe instantly and somehow, my eyes find Dmitri’s.
“Is it what you want?” he asks.
I think about that for a moment. “I… want to have this baby naturally. But… I’m worried about doing it without an epidural.”
“Then you don’t have to,” Dr. Liza assures me. “I can?—”
“It’s just—” My eyes dart between her and Dmitri. “—Rose wanted me to have the baby drug-free.”
I’m expecting some anger from Dmitri. But he doesn’t give anything away as he steps a little closer to me. “Wren, when you discussed those things with Rose, you were having her baby. But this is your baby, your labor, your delivery plan. You get to choose.”
I don’t know why, but that’s stressing me out. “What do you think I should do?”
“Whatever you’re comfortable with.”
My eyes narrow. “Not helpful.”
His fingers brush against my arm. “You’re nervous about having the baby without any drugs?”
“Well, yeah, I’m no superwoman.”
He opens his mouth, then snaps it shut at the last moment. “Dr. Liza can arrange an epidural for you if you want one. If you want to go all natural, then you can do that, too. I just don’t want you to choose that route because you think you have to.”
“I don’t want to feel pain,” I whisper in a small voice.
His jaw clenches. “Good. I don’t like seeing you in pain.”
His fingers twitch towards me, but he doesn’t actually touch me. It feels as though he’s been trying desperately to keep me at arm’s length since I came back. The disappointing part is how successful he’s been.
But I have his words from last night to fuel me whenever I find myself searching for reassurance. You have no idea what you do to me. My masochistic side is desperately hoping I hadn’t dreamed that part.