Page 182 of June First
Me: We need to talk. Today. It’s important. Meet me at the apartment when you get off work. I hope you’re okay…I love you. <3 Junebug
He reads it right away, but he doesn’t reply.
And fifteen minutes later, after I pull into the familiar parking lot and exit the car, he still hasn’t replied.
A hard lump stings the back of my throat as I shove the phone into my pocket and trek through the maze of graves and headstones. I fit in here. I’m as haunted as these sacred grounds.
But I’m setting myself free.
I make a beeline to the headstone I know all too well—the one that steals my breath every time I see it.
The one I spent every Saturday night with for months.
The one that listened to me vent, sing, cry, and purge as I sprawled out across the grave site.
Theo.
Dropping to my knees beside the stone, my lips tremble as I read the familiar tribute.
SON. BROTHER. FRIEND.
SAVER.
My chest hurts. It hurts so bad.
“I had a dream about you last night,” I say, wiping away tears with the back of my wrist. “I dream about you a lot, but this one felt so real. It’s like you were really speaking to me, from wherever you are. Over the rainbow, up in the sky, maybe even on the moon…” Pressing a hand to my heart, I smile. “Or from right here.”
Birds chirp and chatter in a nearby tree, and I think about the bluebird painting.
“I just wanted to tell you that I won’t be coming back here for a while, but I promise to take you with me. I’m going to soar, Theo. I’m going to spread my wings and fly, and you’re going to cheer me along, all the way to the top. I know you will.” I sniffle, my hair floating around me as a breeze sweeps through. It’s warm and safe, and I pretend it’s Theo letting me know he’s listening. “I’m going to be brave like you. I’ve learned from the best, after all.” I squeeze my eyes shut, the tears trickling down my cheeks and landing in the precious soil. “It’s time.”
The birds stop singing, and the breeze goes still.
It’s just us.
It’s just me and Theo now.
“It’s a good day to save someone,” I whisper, my fingertips skimming along the carving of his name. “And I think in the end…it might just save us both.”
My chin lifts, my tear-glazed eyes peering up at the sky full of clouds as I inhale a tattered breath. But that breath catches in my throat, manifesting into a startled gasp, and my tears fall harder, my heart galloping. Goose bumps prickle my skin as a knowing smile paints my lips.
I blink up at those clouds.
And I swear…
I swear…
The cloud that dances right above my head is shaped just like Mario’s hat.
The suitcases are heavy as I lift them off the floor, but not as heavy as the weight of my heart. That weight is backbreaking.
He didn’t show.
I try to force back the sob climbing its way up my throat as my fingers curl around the suitcase handles, but it pushes through anyway. Ugly and mean.
Devastating.
My arms start to shake, and I drop the suitcases back to the floor, dragging them across the carpet as more awful cries pour out of me. Dad booked a one-way ticket to New York City the day I confronted them at the house, and I’d had no intention of setting foot on that plane. I’m an adult, after all. Just because my father wanted me to leave didn’t mean I had to.