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My resolve was threadlike, my sanity in shambles.

“Listen, Halley…” His chin dipped down. “I haven’t meant to?—”

“It’s fine. I understand.”

He glanced at me, his neck corded, veins dilated. “This is complicated.”

“You don’t need to spell it out for me, Reed. I totally get it.”

“This can’t…become anything. I hope you know that.”

My fingers curled into fists at my sides, humiliation heating my neck and staining my ears red. He thought I was an idiot. I was telling him that I understood, but he was determined to pound the undeniable truth into me with a sledgehammer until I was a still-pulsing pile of unworthy bits splattered at his feet. I set my jaw, staring straight ahead, and dodging an incoming skater. “Thanks for clearing that up. I really had no idea.”

“Halley.”

I loathed the admonishment in his tone, but I brushed it aside and held my head high. “Look…I do owe you an apology for that night.” I swallowed the rock in my throat that had caught on fire. “That was completely unacceptable behavior on my part. I’m embarrassed and ashamed. And you were right to stop our sessions. They weren’t headed anywhere good.”

He was quiet for a while as we skated past the common area, and my eyes briefly locked with Whitney’s. I sent her a tiny smile, pretending like I was just killing time, waiting for Tara to return.

Reed ran a hand over his jaw and nodded slowly. “I thought we needed distance.”

“We did.” I swallowed again. “We do.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Frowning, I looked up at him as irritation flickered through me. “You didn’t hurt me. I’m not a soft little ragdoll you need to be gentle with. I’m an adult, and I’ve been through far worse than this. I’ll be fine.”

“This is different. I never wanted to?—”

“You don’t need to explain.”

“Halley.” My name flew past his lips like a burial hymn. Two heartrending syllables hellbent on burying us both. “This is killing me.”

I opened my mouth to speak but only found myself choking on the ashes of his words. Soot in my throat, cinders in my lungs. There was something raw in his declaration, a candid hitch.

Pain.

We both felt it, we both wanted to carve it out of us.

The backs of our knuckles grazed as we made another turn, and everything around me blurred. We were the paused frame in a film, a frozen moment. The slightest touch of our hands felt like color in a monochrome world. Rain on dry desert sand; sunshine melting the igloo around my heart.

When I looked up at him looking down at me, I prayed that no one saw the currents swimming between us, despite it feeling like a tangible thing.

I pulled my hand away and scratched at my knuckles, cradling my palm to my chest.

I didn’t speak, didn’t respond in any way—other than to flee.

Skating ahead of him, I moved as fast as I could, concentrating on my footing, trying not to slip. He didn’t call after me, didn’t give chase. He couldn’t. It wasn’t allowed, especially not here, with Tara, Whitney, and Scotty in plain view.

My chest heaved, fighting for air, as I collapsed forward against the short wall near the exit. I rolled out onto the carpeting and fell to the bench, tearing at my laces, kicking the skates off my feet as I replaced them with shoes. The moment my feet were flat on the ground, I took off, pushing through the crowd and out the main entrance doors, eager for clean air.

I ran and I ran and I ran.

I ran straight into my father.

CHAPTER 20

Oxygen left me in a silent whoosh as I crashed into a hard body.