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I could tell she meant it. She cared about my well-being more than this party, but I also knew she was excited to go. I didn’t want to be the one to hold her back or spoil her night.

Inhaling a compliant breath, I nodded and gathered my purse and camera. “Okay. I’ll stay for a little bit.”

“Yes!” Tara leaped over two laps to ambush me with a big hug. “We’re going to have the best time. Way better than a school dance.”

I hugged her back and forced an agreeable smile as the four of us filed out of the limo. Nolan hadn’t said a word the whole time, but his eyes were twinkling when he glanced at the brightly lit brick house. Sighing, I allowed Tara to link our arms together and lead us through the front door, while daylight melted from the sky, leaving splashes of tangerine and blush behind.

I wrinkled my nose when we stepped inside.

Noise.

Everywhere.

A beer keg, loud R&B music, girls in skin-tight dresses inhaling Jello shots. My skin crawled with sealed-up memories springing back to life.

I was reminded of years past when I’d escape to nearby house parties as a way of blending in and feeling normal. But normalcy was always elusive, a mirage on an endless horizon. Same as peace. Those two concepts were constantly being redefined.

This way of life used to be my peace; my refuge.

Now, the only vision that sprouted in my heart when I thought of peace was a man with pale-green eyes and dimples he gave away like wishes. It was his steadfast belief in me that blanketed me in the truest sense of sanctuary.

But that was a mirage, too.

I spent the next hour scoping out good lighting and taking pictures with my camera, while following Tara around like a shadow. She did her best to include me, to zap her enthusiasm into my lackluster bones, but I struggled to fake it.

Eventually, I slipped away from her and found a quiet place to relax in the basement den, where only a few stragglers were drinking beer and chatting about sports.

The quiet didn’t last long.

Only a few minutes passed before Eric and one of his friends found me seated on a rust-hued loveseat as I did my best to remain invisible.

“Yo, Foster,” Eric hollered over to me.

I was in no mood. While his enormous pimple had vanished, his off-putting existence in general had not. “Hey, Eric.”

“You were supposed to be my date. Who’s the redhead?”

“Nolan.”

“Never seen that kid before.”

“He’s gone to school with us for years.”

Eric sniffed, strolling closer with his hands stuffed inside the baggy pockets of his black slacks. “You got a thing for the wimpy wallflowers?”

“I don’t have a thing for you, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

“You’ve never even given me a chance.”

“I’m not required to,” I said with a sigh. Already feeling annoyed, I stood from the loveseat and forced a tight-lipped smile before moving around him.

He snatched me by the forearm.

I froze.

The hairs on the back of my neck jumped.

Eric gave me a quick tug toward him and leered. “Heard you were fast.”