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“I’m the one freaking out.”
“Okay,” he said, eyes thinning. “Tell me.”
Flapping my arms like a bird fighting gravity, I finally collected my wits and skimmed my fingers through my hair, staring down at his ruddy-brown sandals. “I slept with Reed.”
Silence.
A barbed-wire knot formed in the pit of my stomach as I glanced up at him, my cheeks burning.
His eyes bulged. “What?”
“Coach Madsen.”
“I know who Reed is.” Scotty stared at me, dumfounded, cupping a hand around his jaw and scratching at the copper stubble growing in. “Damn, Halley.”
I folded my arms and dug my toes into the sand. “I know.”
“What were you thinking? He’s Tara’s father and your training coach. I knew there was some weird tension between the two of you, but…” Shaking his head, he breathed out a heavy sigh. “Holy shit. I didn’t think you’d ever go there.”
Shame nibbled at my insides and shook my words. “I don’t know what to do. Everything’s a mess.”
“When did it happen?”
“Last week. Tara doesn’t know,” I croaked out. “She thinks I slept with you.”
His body went rigid, his eyes glazing over with something like pain. “All right.” Jabbing his tongue against his cheek, he sighed again. “Why are you telling me this?”
“I…I don’t know. I trust you. And I was hoping that if Tara ever said anything…you’d cover for me?” I was being so selfish. Scotty had feelings for me, I knew that, and I was using him to hold on to my depraved secrets that centered around another man. It was an awful, cruel thing to do. “God, I’m really sorry. Never mind. That was a terrible thing to ask you. I’m such a bitch.”
“You’re not a bitch.”
“Forget I said that,” I rambled on. “I’ll deal with it on my own. If everything implodes, it’s my own fault, and I’ll figure it out?—”
“Halley.” Scotty grabbed my shoulders and bent to eye-level. “I won’t say anything. I got your back, okay? Breathe.”
My eyes watered as I inhaled a breath, hoping to tame my ebbing panic attack. I didn’t deserve his friendship or loyalty, but I was undoubtedly grateful for it. “I’m sorry. I’m sure you hate me now, but you’re one of my only friends, and I had to tell someone. I need…advice, I guess.”
“You know I don’t hate you.” A muscle in his cheek twitched. “But you won’t like my advice.”
I sighed, my face falling. “You think I’m being stupid.”
“I think you’re being reckless,” he said. “I think you’re playing with a fire too powerful for you to control. Honestly, Coach is the stupid one. And my advice is to cut ties before you both burn.”
Gritting my teeth, I rubbed my lips together. “It’s more than physical,” I tried to reason. “We met two years ago, before I knew he was Tara’s father. I was in a bad place then, and I lied about my age. A connection kind of blossomed, and now we’re in too deep to just cut it out of us.”
He shook his head slowly, his brows knitting together as he processed my bomb. “What’s your endgame here? Are you just fooling around and having fun, or do you have real feelings for this guy?”
My heart jumped, a reminder of all the feelings I was too weak to stomp out. “Real feelings,” I murmured. “I hate this, but it feels impossible to walk away.”
“It’s going to feel a hell of a lot worse when you’re faced with no choice but to walk away. Tara will find out. And she’s not going to forgive you. Then you’ll be walking away from them both.”
His words danced through me with steel-toed boots.
Tears rushed to my eyes as I envisioned a future spun with betrayal, heartbreak, and ultimately, loneliness. Everything I’d tried so hard to escape from. I’d been running and running, and it felt as if I’d run three-hundred-and-sixty degrees, landing right back where I’d started. Different circumstances, same result.
I inhaled a breath. “What if Tara’s okay with it?”
His brows shot up. “You really believe that?”