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But Halley?

She had no one. No one else to guide her through the seas of uncertainty, through the high tides of recovery.

She’d already lost one family; I couldn’t let her lose another.

A feeling came over me.

A painful, all-knowing feeling.

Bravery. Stupidity. A mix of both.

Aiming my eyes at the floor, I found my voice and used it to tell the greatest lie. “You’re right, Tara,” I whispered, the haunting hum of my broken words loud enough to crumble mountains.

Halley’s grip on my arm loosened.

A look of pure blindside splashed across her face. “What?”

“You’re right. About everything.” I turned to Tara, trying to keep myself from buckling. “I did this. I took advantage of Halley when she was vulnerable, and I hate myself for it.”

“Reed…” Halley blanched before my eyes. “No.”

I kept going.

I had to keep going because there was no way out of this for us, no matter which road we took. But there was still a way out for Halley. For her heart. I’d absolve her of these sins. “I could tell she had a crush on me,” I said. “I was lonely, weak, and selfish. Halley is beautiful, and I lost control.”

Halley gouged her fingernails into my bicep, her pleas shrieking with disbelief. “No! He’s lying.” She whirled around to Tara and Whitney, her face in ruins. “He’s lying, I swear.”

“I’m not lying.”

Whitney closed her eyes, her fingers sliding through her hair. “Reed, stop. Just stop talking.”

“None of this is Halley’s fault,” I continued, stoning my resolve, forcing the words out as my stomach did somersaults, and I nearly bent over and retched. “I knew better. I knew it was wrong, but I did it anyway. Regardless of the consequences. Those training sessions were my idea. It was an excuse to be around her because I couldn’t stay away.”

My daughter’s hand shot up and clamped around her mouth, her eyes squeezing shut.

“Don’t blame Halley.” I pleaded with Tara as I broke apart and died inside. “Please. She doesn’t deserve any of this. Blame me. I’m the bad guy. I made her believe we had something real so I could keep her in my bed. I’m not proud of it. I’m ashamed. But that’s the fucking truth.”

My limbs trembled, my mouth cotton-ball dry. Nausea spun and churned, and all I wanted to do was shout from the rooftops that I loved this woman, and she loved me.

But Tara would never buy it.

She’d crucify Halley. I saw it all over her ghost-white face.

And that would crucify me.

Tara’s shoulders tremored, her face paling to ash. She gaped at me, sickened and horror-struck, then removed her hand to speak. Shattering me into pieces.

“You’re disgusting.” Her teeth chattered from the strength of her revulsion. “You’re disgusting, and I hate you.”

Tears rimmed my eyes as my voice quavered. “I understand. I hate myself, too.”

A single, salient beat passed as I watched my little girl digest all the things I’d just forced her to believe, before she flew past me to the foyer and raced outside, leaving the front door swinging on its hinges like a wrecking ball.

Halley lifted her chin, her eyes meeting with mine. We gazed at each other, apology flickering across my face, scorn molded into hers. Her features collapsed with hysteria, tears pouring down her cheeks. She shook her head, horrified by the lies I’d just expelled like water.

With a wretched cry, Halley let go of my arm and charged out the front door, slamming it behind her.

The windowpanes rattled.