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And that was Reed.
He was tangible, warm, and mine. Seeing beyond what I held so dear felt like a violation of my heart. It hurt. It stung and chafed in places I didn’t know existed.
Reed cupped my wet cheeks between his palms and pressed a kiss to my lips. “Go, Halley,” he whispered against my mouth. “Go with Scotty. Go because I love you. Go because it’ll kill me if you don’t do everything in your power to live a life you won’t regret.”
I kissed him harder, forcing his mouth to part to deepen our hold. He exhaled a groan when our tongues touched, a soft flick of yearning.
He fused our foreheads together, canting his head left and right like it was taking all of his effort not to crack. “Halley?—”
“I’ll go,” I cried out. “I will. I’ll go.”
His eyes snapped closed as I said the words he both longed, and loathed, to hear. He nodded, every muscle twitching and tense.
“It’s better if I go and you stay,” I said, gasping for breath and strength. “You need to fix things with Tara. Rebuild your relationship while I try to build some semblance of a life without you.”
He kept nodding, his eyes squeezed shut as tears leaked out.
“I hate this, but you’re right.” I reached up to dab a tear from the corner of his eye with my thumb. “Maybe one day I’ll find love with another man the way I found it with you. I’ll try to take pictures that aren’t all black and white. I’ll swim in the ocean, all while wishing you were on the same side of the waterline with me. I’ll try, Reed,” I rasped out. “I promise I’ll try.”
He inhaled a ragged sigh. “Good.”
I lifted on my tiptoes and pulled his face to mine, releasing a final request against his lips. “Just let me lose myself one more time.”
A beat passed as our mouths idled, warm breath mingling as one.
Then he gave in on a needy groan and tugged me to him.
Our mouths locked again, both opening at the same time as our tongues tangled together, desperation fueling us. He gripped my hair, cupped my jaw, pressing closer like he could forge a home inside of me. I’d let him. I’d let him gut me from top to bottom and build anew.
The kiss grew vibrant wings, our hands dipping everywhere, my leg curling around his hip, his arms hoisting me up. With a quick tug, I was in the air, linking my ankles behind his back as he carried me to the bedroom. Reed lay me on the bed, carefully, like I was a precious thing, and trailed both hands up my thighs until my dress was inching its way up and over my head. He discarded his clothes and crawled over me as I slid my underwear down and off.
My knees parted, an invitation. A petition for forever.
But I knew, all we had was this.
Our last dance.
I wrapped my arms around his neck as he settled on top of me, skin to skin. Eye to eye. He was inside me before I could take a breath, moving like warm molasses, savoring the sweetness of our final moment.
It was slow, careful, tender.
There was no urgency because there was nothing else waiting for us on the other side of it.
My hands sifted through his soft hair, branding the texture on my fingertips. My feet grazed over his lower back, sliding across his skin. His strokes deepened as he tried to reach my innermost parts. Our hearts pounded together in synchronized rhythm, matching his thrusts, and my eyes remained open the whole time, hazel fixed to the prettiest color green I’d ever seen.
I saw the sadness. I saw the love. I saw a crystal-clear future reflected in his gaze that neither of us would ever live out.
His mouth parted on a low moan, one hand dusting down my hip until he was palming my thigh. Squeezing. Memorizing, just like me. He peppered kisses to my throat, my collarbone, my cheeks and nose, my lips that trembled with lust and loss. There was magic in the air. Magic and mourning bleeding into our bones.
When his fingers caressed the space where our bodies joined, I arched back, unwilling to let go. I wasn’t ready. I knew the pinnacle was nothing but a head-first dive off this love-grown cliff.
Reed rubbed harder, thrusted faster, deeper, edging me closer to the drop-off.
I clutched at him. Fought. Fingernails and teeth. With everything I had left.
But then he leaned over and released precious words into my ear, his fingers working me, his body filling me with everything I’d ever need. His breath warmed the shell of my ear as he said softly, “I love you so much.”
I broke.