Page 124 of Fighting Fate
I pull him into another hug, absorbing the wisdom in his words. He continues, "Finish this semester strong. Make amends with the Hanmann sisters and Ben. Win that competition. Then, Milli, take a break for yourself. Rediscover who you are. Find joy. Achieve the goals you set as a freshman. And most importantly," he steps back, eyes meeting mine, "fall in love with yourself all over again." He playfully taps my nose, adding, "You don't need someone else, especially not a guy wrapped up in his own problems, to feel loved or weighed down. Miles will sort himself out. Believe me, I know. We eventually get our act together, especially when it's about someone we care about."
With that, he grabs his bag and heads for the door. Glancing back, he blows a kiss my way, sparking a laugh from me.
As Wyatt's advice lingers in my thoughts, I cue up Mandisa's "Stronger" on the speakers and let myself dance. The notion of taking a break, of rediscovering and falling back in love with myself, starts to lighten the burden on my shoulders. With each dance step, I embrace the journey of finding inner happiness.
The dance studio becomes more than just a space for practice; it turns into a sanctuary where the rhythm guides us and our shared passion for dance ignites. It's not just about perfecting routines anymore; it's about rediscovering my love for dance, for self-exploration, and the sheer joy of living in the moment.
As the music envelops me and I'm reminded of the power of stepping back, taking a breath, and dancing into a new chapter of life. Grateful for friends like Wyatt, I realize that sometimes the best way to move forward is to take a moment to pause, reflect, and dance your heart out.
"You realize this couch isn't your permanent address, right?" I reluctantly drag my gaze from the TV to meet Luke's, his eyes piercing with an unspoken plea. But it's a lost cause. A month has dragged into a year in my mind, and I'm knee-deep in self-pity. So what if I am? Life's dealt me a lousy hand with cancer—maybe not the exact same kind as when I was seven, but just as life-altering. Football's out, school's a blur, and studying for the MCAT or finals feels like a joke.
Why bother with what's beyond my reach now?
"You could still hit the books, Miles."
Silence swallows the room, punctuated only by the TV's distant murmur. I shift on the couch, Luke's words like weights. I just want him to back off.
"Yeah, I hear you," I grumble, avoiding his gaze. Everyone's got an opinion on how I should cope. But it's my dwindling life, and I'll face it my way.
Luke sighs, frustration ruffling his features. "I'm not saying it's easy, but you need a new focus. Moping here changes nothing."
He doesn't get it. He didn't see those pitying faces in the hospital, echoing since I was seven, whispering I'm a disappointment. Dad won't see me in the NFL, Mom will tell clients she's busy with her "sick" son.
Again.
He's not staring down a future that's a shadow of what he dreamed. What if I beat cancer, and it comes back? A third, a fourth time? I can't put everyone through that, not to mention my own terror.
A bitter laugh escapes me. "Find something else? Like what, Luke? This isn't some minor injury. It's not just going away."
His expression tightens. "I know it's hard. But this doesn't define you. There's life beyond football, beyond the NFL."
The same spiel Dad's been giving me. "Control your future, Miles. Face this battle. You'll bounce back, prove them all wrong."
Exasperated, I say, "Enough, Luke. I get your concern, but I'm not looking for a coach."
The truth? I'm lost in this new reality. Every dream seems unattainable, and I'm suffocating under the weight of what's to come. But the gloom is relentless.
Luke stands, his anger palpable. "If not for yourself, do it for Milli."
Her name strikes me with a force that stops me cold. I've been pushing her away, her of all people, the one I least want to see me in this state. Yet the remorse for sidelining her eats at me. She's been my steadfast support, my anchor, and the thought of facing this battle alone terrifies me more than I dare to acknowledge.
"Milli deserves better than to be dragged into this shit," Luke murmurs, his voice echoing in the room.
I let out a heavy sigh. Ironically, keeping her at arm's length may inflict more pain than drawing her close.
"She's seen too much of my struggles already," I whisper, eyes glued to the floor. "It wouldn't be right to heap more onto her load."
Luke looks at me, his expression one of gentle understanding. "Miles, carrying burdens together can make them easier to bear. She cares about you, you know."
Luke's words halt me. I turn, facing him as he says, "You must think I'm daft to have not noticed how you and Milli are around each other." He shakes his head. "You two have always been thick as thieves, but this semester, with you two together constantly, the romantic spark is unmistakable."
He really thinks that, doesn't he?
His eyes land on mine, understanding and brotherly. I'd expected maybe disappointment or surprise from him about me and Milli evolving into something more. But no, he's just calmly accepting it, as if he knew all along.
Before I can ponder over Luke's take on my complicated "situationship" with Milli, the door bursts open. The freshman trio enter with their usual flair. Cam's beaming, Gunner's got a case of beer, and Devon looks awkwardly out of place. They turn their collective gaze from Luke to me, a silent communication passing between them before they chorus, "Let's go."
Raising an eyebrow, I stay put. Cam sidles up, then suddenly jerks back, waving a hand in front of his nose. "Damn, Chasen, you stink! Been skipping showers, huh?"