Page 65 of Devastate Me
“Forgot to bring some drinks in with me. Gonna go grab some shit. Why don’t you catch a nap or something until I get back?”
“Catch a nap?” I questioned, not believing that the man would take my virginity and within minutes be up and out the door – his door. God, was this his way of giving me a dignified exit from the room? Was I supposed to leave and do the walk of shame back to Kip’s room while he went in search of actual sexual gratification? Sure, he finished inside me, but it couldn’t have been a great experience for him either. I’d seen what a great experience looked like for him. What just happened between us had not even compared.
Breakneck walked out without a backward glance my way, leaving me behind with far too many questions and a feeling of inadequacy and utter failure. As if to taunt me further, the candles he’d placed all around the room for added romantic ambiance had dimmed, as if even they knew that performance wasn’t worthy of their light.
Would Breakneck be so heartless as to go find someone else to hook up with after leaving me here like this? No, even Breakneck wouldn’t be so callous. Would he? I hated that he left me feeling so damn insecure about everything. Not to mention how completely unfulfilled I felt. I had at least been working toward an orgasm just before he removed his fingers and thrust himself inside me.
I growled into his pillow and attempted to sit up, only when I moved, it hurt down there. My insides felt as though someone had taken sandpaper to them for a good long while. My vagina wasn’t the only dry spot on my body. I was parched and found myself hoping the bastard at least brought me a bottle of water before he expected me to just pack up and go. He had mentioned going to get some drinks.
I waited until I couldn’t wait any longer. While I wanted nothing more than to shower and get out of there with at least a little of my dignity still intact, the need for a drink and some painkillers won above everything else.
I dressed and wished that I had something more than my shorts to put on my lower half. The uncomfortable feeling of his deposit leaking back out of my body and into my underwear nearly made me give up on my quest to go take care of my other needs. Unfortunately, the pain I felt down there meant that I couldn’t do that.
“Gross,” I huffed while pulling my shoes onto my feet. While I had watched enough porn to see a cream pie or two in my day, I thought that only happened when they pushed and forced the fluid back out. I don’t know why I thought semen would just hang out inside my body and be absorbed in there or something, but obviously, I’d been very wrong on that count. Gravity was a bitch, and nothing made that more evident than the mess I was making in my granny panties.
That feeling lit a fire under my butt and I quickly made my way to the bar area of the clubhouse to go get a drink and some pain relievers from someone, since Breakneck seemed to be in no hurry to tend to my needs.
What I saw when I got to the end of the hall devastated me. Breakneck stood there, still shirtless, bent over the back of a chair that a familiar blonde woman sat in. His arms were locked around her front in a possessive hug as he leaned in and placed a kiss on her neck. Scout, the woman who I thought had formed a sort of friendship with me, cocked her head to the side and smiled up at him brightly before he took her hand, helped her out of her chair, and walked her hand-in-hand down the opposite hall the same way he had guided me to his room just a little while ago.
“What did you expect,” a shrew-like voice called to me from somewhere nearby. “He was fucking her and one of the other women all night, the other night after your little date in the gazebo, and apparently you’re sweet little Virgin Mary ass isn’t enough to satisfy a man like Breakneck.”
Twenty minutes ago, I wouldn’t have believed a word Connie threw at me. Now, after seeing him with Scout, I wondered if it wasn’t true. Unfortunately, Connie wasn’t done spouting her bullshit at me, and worse, her dramatics were drawing the attention of other people, too.
“Maybe it’s time you go crawling home to mommy and daddy now. This isn’t your scene, little princess. These are real men with needs you can’t meet.”
I turned, unwilling to just take her abuse, even if everything she said was the truth. “Funny, I heard he tried to have you thrown out of here because you weren’t worth keeping around,” I shot back. I didn’t know if that was true or not, but he’d threatened Liz earlier with that, and it sure was satisfying to see Connie so pissed off that she lost control in front of everyone.
Connie ran for me, and before anyone in the room – including me – could react, her fist made contact with my face. She followed that up with her other hand, open palmed that time, but with her store-bought talons used to form claws that raked down my left cheek, stinging as they ripped the skin away. About the same time her claws retracted, my flight or fight response finally kicked in, and I punched her in the vagina.
It was muscle memory kicking in from what my dad – the man who used to be my dad – taught me to do long ago. Granted, he meant for me to punch my attacker in the dick rather than being raped, but thankfully, it worked on female attackers, too. Connie dropped to her knees holding her lady bits and howling in pain.
“Holy shit! Kip’s nanny just cunt-punched Connie!” One of the men yelled while the others hooted in laughter. Grady, the older gentleman who had told Breakneck he’d have a talk with Tripp about Liz’s behavior earlier, came up to my side and pulled me away from the scene. He took me to a corner of the bar and pulled the first aid kit out from behind it before sitting me on a stool.
When I winced at the impact against my shredded lady bits, a look of pure pity crossed his face. He slipped out a packet of Ibuprofen and handed me a bottle of water from behind the bar. “Sorry, darlin’. We’ll get your face cleaned up and then you can head back to your room and rest up.” Despite the loud music and raucous laughter in the room, Grady kept his voice low enough for only me to hear.
“Don’t think what you saw was what you think it was, either. Don’t listen to that bitch. I can tell you for sure that your man wasn’t with no one else the other night. Connie’s a lying, jealous whore who had hopes of getting Breakneck to make her his old lady until you came along. Not that he ever would have done it, but that didn’t stop her from planning and thinking she could make it happen.
I rolled my eyes at the thought, considering how carelessly he had prospects come clean her up off his floor when she passed out during sex. Now, I wondered if maybe she was just bored to near death by sex with him.
Someone had escorted Connie out of the room after she tried to come at me again. “Don’t worry about her, gonna have a talk with Prez about that bitch, too. She’s overstepped one too many times in this clubhouse. Everyone knows you’re under protection, even if Breakneck hasn’t claimed you yet.”
That made me laugh, but not in the funny way. “He’s not going to claim me.”
“Darlin’, that man ain’t ever had a girlfriend in all the years I’ve known him, and he’s been around since he was just a twinkle of interest in his dad’s eye.” He winked at me as he dispersed that odd sentiment. It took a minute for it to register what “a twinkle of interest” was and then I got it. Gross.
“Not gonna speak for the man, but if he has a lick of brains in that brick of a head of his, he’ll make you his whole world and treat you far better than he did tonight. Best believe, I’ll be putting a foot up his ass about leaving you in this state to begin with, not to mention running off without a word.
He tipped his head toward the hallway where Scout and Breakneck disappeared and still hadn’t returned from.
“No bedrooms back there,” he insisted. Not like that mattered. I’d seen Breakneck with women in the common room. “Just Tripp and Mack’s offices, Church, and the kitchens that way.”
That explained why I had never been down there. Since the prospect – whose name I still didn’t know – cooked, I’d always eaten at the bar, over on the couch, or in Kip’s room while taking care of Knoxville. There had never been a need for me to seek out the kitchen, not that I would have anyway. Despite Kip encouraging me to make myself at home here in the clubhouse, I hadn’t attempted it. Every time I made myself at home somewhere, it was snatched out from under me. Kind of like tonight.
My dates with Breakneck had started to feel too comfortable. Maybe, I should have held out for a few more before giving myself to him. Maybe, he would have cared more about me then than to leave me without so much as a glance backward only to wrap his arms around another woman less than twenty minutes later and offer her the comfort he should have given me after taking my virginity.
Once Grady had the claw marks on my face patched up, I made my way back to Kip’s room. He had taken Knoxville home for the night, so I locked the door and pushed the chair under the handle, then crawled into bed and cried myself to sleep.
Chapter 27