Page 24 of Healing Her Lions

“I didn’t grasp exactly what until I tried to run. Fuck.” I rub my eyes, resentful of the tears building in them. “I had so many questions. There was a wolf shifter in the cage beside me. He had been there for a few weeks. He filled me in on the games the Hunters played. They would kidnap shifters and force them to participate in games that they couldn’t win. They would be hunted through the forest, shot at, and abused. We couldn’t escape.” It’s easier to think I wasn’t one of them.

“The owner would walk by the cages and taunt. He stopped in front of me as I was slowly adjusting to this new reality. He welcomed me.” I snort. “He congratulated me on being chosen. He would advertise the games to men with the same mindset as him, and they would pay for a week full of hunting shifters. At random times of the day, I would hear them drinking and laughing. It was a vacation to them.”

“Jesus,” Lucas snarls.

“The first night, my cage opened. I was so fucking naive. All the warnings the wolf gave me about the collars weren’t even thought about. Once I wasn’t controlled by bars, I ran and tried to escape. Honestly, I am surprised I don’t have scars. It felt like my skin was melting from my neck. It was the worst pain I have ever felt.” I sit forward, clasping my hands on the table, my eyes on them, seeing nothing but the past. “I was so arrogant. I thought that surely a lion shifter would be able to do what they couldn’t. I was so wrong.

“I couldn’t shift. I couldn’t fight because if you did get close enough to a Hunter, they would just shock the shit out of you, and that would be it. All you could do was hide. Climb the trees and hide. The Hunters were less likely to find you, and if they did, there was no way they were getting their ass up there. That was the point; they didn’t want to put in the effort. They had darts filled with tranquilizers and those stupid collars.”

Lucas growls low.

“I would live another day, yet I wasn’t living. They fed us dog food. I refused to eat it for weeks. I was hoping I would find wildlife, but there was nothing. Animals knew not to come into the area. I refused until I couldn’t.” I lift my anguished eyes to them. “Do you know how demeaning that was? On my hands and knees, eating dog food out of a bowl on the ground. We always had food, shelter, and love. How could I justify giving in? I was losing weight. I didn’t have my animal to rely on. I couldn’t feel him,” I whisper.

“What do you mean?” Las asks.

“I couldn’t feel my lion. For as long as I can remember, he has always been with me. He was a comforting presence inside me, but he was gone. I had nothing. I didn’t have him, and I didn’t have either of you. Mom. Dad,” I choke out. “I had nothing but metal bars and shifters that had given up.” I clear my throat. “I didn’t help her,” I say quietly.

“Who?” Lucas leans toward me.

“A cheetah. I fell asleep in a tree during a game. I woke to a woman being tormented by two of the Hunters. I looked at them with dead eyes and ignored them. I had given up on living or being rescued. That was my deepest regret—I didn’t do anything.”

“Fuck, brother,” Lucas grumbles, putting his hand on my arm. “You were trying to survive.”

“I don’t know. So many days are a blur. One day blended with the next; time had no meaning. I was ridiculously happy the next day to see her in her cage. How pathetic is that? To be happy that she was back in a cage.”

“How come we couldn’t find this place?” Las rasps.

“They had a witch put a spell on the place. She was also held in a cage, but she was given food and time outside of it. I believe they were holding something against her, controlling her in a different way than the rest of us.” I have since forgiven her. She must have loved something so much that she couldn’t bear to be without it.

“How did you escape?” Las leans closer, too.

“I didn’t escape.” I look at both of them. “Ava was taken.”

“What the fuck? I knew that they knew everything. Why didn’t someone tell us?” Lucas asks, hurt coloring his voice.

“I asked them not to. I wanted to tell you. I just had to find the guts to do it.” Ava is a wolf now, mated to two wolf shifters, but at the time, she was human. “The man in charge of the games was River’s uncle. River was held in a cage at the beginning of the games. His uncle started them years ago, and they escaped but failed to kill his uncle. Gill, his uncle, started them again to get River to come back. When River didn’t take the bait, Gill took Ava before they mated. Bishop was there with River; that’s how they met.”

“I can’t believe that we have been here for two months, and we didn’t know any of this.” Lucas shakes his head in anger.

“Don’t be mad at them. Ava was the one that saved me.” Their grumbles quiet. “River and Kerian found her there. The witch weakened the spell so Serenity could use her witch blood to find the area.” Serenity is a vampire mated and turned by the king of vampires, Ryker.

“How did Ava save you?” Las asks.

“I was running in the games when her mates arrived. I thought that I could get away with all the distractions. I came upon her scent, but a man was following her. I wouldn’t give away her hiding spot, so I attacked him. With my weak body, I didn’t do much damage, and I knew he was going to kill me. I failed to help before; I wanted to make up for it, I guess.

“Ava didn’t run. She put a knife to the man's throat instead.” I will forever be grateful to her and her mates.

“You were free. Why didn’t you come to us?” Lucas asks softly.

I stare into his eyes. “I was so fucking ashamed. I’m supposed to be a leader, and I was tricked. I saw nothing coming. I lived in a cage. I ate dog food. I lost everything that made me special,” I cringe. “Do you know how many times I wanted to call? I would stare at the phone night after night, lecturing myself just to hit the buttons. All I could see was the judgment on your faces. I decided I didn’t want to be the Alpha. I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

“We just wanted you back,” Lucas says, his warm hand landing on my shoulder. “We don’t give a shit if you aren’t Alpha, there are others that can take over. We hate that you had to go through that. It kills me inside that you lost your faith in us.”

“I didn’t lose faith in any of you. I lost it in myself,” I confess.

“We can help you find it again,” Las says, cupping my other shoulder.

“I want that.” We sit in silence, but this time, it is with understanding and hope that has been absent.