Page 28 of The Weight of Love
We turn and walk back to the court as Stella drops her eyes to the video game in her son’s lap, clearly ignoring me.
“She’s been so weird lately,” Riley sighs as we rejoin Annie. I think you should ask her out, Mr. H. I think she just needs to break out of this funk she’s in.”
My face goes sheet white before blushing hard.
“What makes you think she’d want to go out with someone like me?”
“Oh, I don’t know. It could be the fact that she stares at you constantly. It’s an educated guess, really.”
Riley and Annie dissolve into a fit of laughter that tells me I’m clearly missing just how often Stella may be looking my way.
Christmas
I am such an ass. There’s no two ways around it. She was entirely respecting my boundaries, and I had to go and screw it up like a ridiculous tool. Now, I ignore her and make it worse. She must hate me. I hate myself.
“Hey, you with us?” Graham asks me, breaking me out of my sulking.
“Sorry, just thinking.”
This is the absolute worst feeling. I hate the holidays anyway. It reminds me of losing mom. She passed when Jeremy and I were younger. I was sixteen and had been thrust into helping my Gran raise him as best she could while also needing to take care of Aunt Carol.
“You’re moodier than my teenage daughter, man. Please sort out your shit with Stella. It’s clearly a thing.”
“What?”
I hadn’t told Graham full details, but apparently, as much as Gran had been able to read the situation between Stella and me, Riley and Annie were seeing it, and now Graham is also picking up on it.
I’m fucked.
“I know that’s who you’re all mopey over, dude. There’s no way you’re not stuck on her. I saw you at the fair. I’ll see you two at practice.”
“You know her, right? Am I an idiot? I can’t help but think it is a terrible idea.”
“Honestly, yes, you’re an idiot. She was a riot—wicked sense of humor and smarter than anyone knew what to do with. Last I heard, she fell in with her ex, Nick. He was awful. There were many rumors about what happened, but I know she left the state to get away for a while when they divorced.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, that’s why I was surprised to see her back. Nick got put away on assault charges last year over someone and his current wife, so maybe that’s why she finally came back home.”
“If you and she hit it off, go for it, man. She’s one in a million. You don’t let a woman like that slip through your fingers.”
I leave Graham’s before his kids arrive to avoid interfering with their Christmas day activities. I had dropped off my gifts for them as planned and was pretty much done with all my holiday festivities.
The one-hour drive back to the hotel stretches before me, and my thoughts are back on Stella. I didn’t even realize I hit the dial button until I heard her voice in the car speakers.
“Well, long time no talk Cowboy. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“I’m an ass.”
“Well, yes. I won’t argue that one, but by all means, expand on it.”
“I don’t want to bug you. I’m sure you’re busy with the kids today, but I just wanted to call and say I’m sorry and that I’m an ass.”
“You’re safe. This is their year with my ex’s family for Christmas too. I’m all alone working at the office. Don’t change the subject, though. We were discussing this whole you being an ass business.”
“I don’t know. There’s a hundred excuses. They all suck. I just don’t know what I’m doing, and I can’t seem to get you out of my head.”
She’s silent, leaving me feeling as if my entire world is teetering on the edge of this moment. I’m anxious to know if there’s a way for her to stay in my life despite how I’ve acted.