Page 39 of Catch and Release

He said the wrong thing a few times, but he was quick to apologize and easy to be with. And as much as she wanted to try and forget the kiss, she knew she was lying to herself if she thought she could.

She just needed to get him out of her system, she decided.

A one night thing.

Scratch the itch, then move on.

Charlie did it all the time. She could do it, too. After all, it would be an understatement to say she was attracted to him—that much was certain. And she also trusted him. After seeing how he’d taken such great care of Ida, how all the old ladies at Bingo fussed over him, she realized he was clearly a standup guy.

So now it was just a matter of broaching it with him. She’d never done this before; usually, men propositioned her and she said no. She wasn’t quite sure how to go about it, but she took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and turned to Shawn.

“I can’t stop thinking about our kiss from earlier,” she said.

He looked up at her, his eyes darting to her mouth and darkening.

“Glad I’m not the only one,” he rasped.

“I want to do it again.”

“Then do it.”

“I want to do a lot more than that actually.”

His eyes widened for a moment and he shifted in his seat, opening his mouth as if he were going to respond but then quickly snapping it shut.

“I’m not looking for anything serious,” Willa said, darting her eyes away from Shawn. “I already told you I just went through a bad breakup. I can’t… I don’t want a boyfriend. I just want something fun.”

“Something fun,” his voice was stony.

She looked up at him.

His jaw ticked, and she flinched, realizing she probably sounded like all the tourists who made him feel like he could never be more than sex. Like he was only worthwhile to her because of the orgasms he could give her.

“Shit,” she said. “I wasn’t thinking. About what you said the other night. I just… forget it.”

She bit her lip.

Shawn groaned.

“Willa,” he said. “You’re not making this easy on me.”

“Sorry,” she whispered.

“Don’t—” he sighed. “You don’t have to apologize. Look. I told you I feel like people only see me as a good time.”

“I know, and I didn’t think,” she responded. “Clearly. You opened up to me and I should’ve?—”

“Wait, Willa.”

He dragged a hand over his head and dropped his fishing rod in the stand.

“Look. For years, I fucked almost every tourist who propositioned me. But it got lonely. Isolating. And I started wanting more. I promised myself I wouldn’t do that anymore. It wasn’t… it wasn’t good for me. I did a lot of therapy to realize that I’d been looking for fulfillment in all the wrong places because of a bunch of childhood shit I won’t bore you with. But I can’t. I can’t just do casual sex anymore.”

She sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes, leaning back against her chair.

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t?—”