Page 98 of Catch and Release

She stilled, then took a deep breath. “I don’t want to be friends with benefits anymore.”

Shawn’s smile dropped and his heart stuttered.

So he was right.

She was done with him.

He closed his eyes and tipped his head back, trying to calm himself down. He knew it would come to this eventually. Knew she’d grow tired of him, just like everyone else had. And he had nobody to blame but himself for agreeing to this in the first place. He had to let her go. Would she want to remain friends? He wasn’t sure he could handle that—at least, not right away. But maybe down the road?—

“Shawn?”

The way Willa said his voice made him realize she’d been trying to get his attention for a few moments. She placed her hands on his cheeks, tugging his gaze down to meet hers.

“Shawn?” she said again.

“If that’s what you want,” he said.

“Wait, Shawn. It’s not because—fuck, I’m really screwing this up.” She dropped her hands from his cheeks and buried her face in her palms.

“It’s okay, Willa.”

“No, Shawn. It’s not,” she lifted her face to his again. “I’m… Fuck, what I’m trying to say is that I don’t want to be friends with benefits anymore because I have feelings for you.”

Her voice trailed off as she spoke until it was barely a whisper. Shawn jolted, hope and shock coursing through him.

“And I can’t… I can’t just be friends with benefits anymore. I don’t… Fuck.” She buried her face in his chest, and Shawn’s arms tightened around her.

“I have feelings for you, too,” he whispered. “Been trying to pretend like I don’t for weeks now.”

Willa gasped, gazing up at him. “Really? Charlie said…”

“What?” Shawn asked when she trailed off.

“Charlie said she thought you might. The way you looked at me or something.”

Shawn chuckled. “And how do I look at you?”

Willa bit her lip. “Charlie was a bit melodramatic about it, actually. Something about how I’m the sun.”

The sun, the stars, the moon, every fucking planet in the galaxy.

But the sun was good enough for now.

Shawn kissed her. “Sounds about right. So why were you nervous to talk to me about this, baby?”

The endearment he usually saved for sex slipped out before he could stop himself, and she gave him a tentative grin before burying her face in his chest again.

“I’m scared,” she whispered, eyes watering. “After Leo. I’m fucking terrified. I don’t… I can’t go through that again. And I don’t trust myself when it comes to picking guys. I’ve always ended up getting hurt.”

His heart splintered as he watched a couple of stray tears roll down her face. He cradled her cheeks in his hands, brushing them away with his thumbs. If he ever met this Leo guy, Shawn was going to punch first and ask questions later. He hoped for all their sakes that they never crossed paths.

“I’m gonna fucking kill that guy,” Shawn said, earning him a humorless chuckle from Willa. “I know there’s not much I can say to make you feel better about this. We’ll have to figure it out as we go. But here’s what I can promise: I’ll always be honest with you. Always. And I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make sure you trust me.”

“It’s not you I don’t trust. It’s me,” Willa whispered, tears streaming down her face as she let out a humorless chuckle. “My therapist and I are working on it.”

Shawn rubbed his thumb along her lips. “I’m proud of you for getting the help you need. Listen, baby. I’ve never felt this way before. Ever. And I don’t want to freak you out, but I’m all in on this. On you. On us. So whatever you need to feel good about it, I’ll give you.”

He was pretty sure he’d give her anything she wanted. She had him wrapped around her slender finger. But she’d figure that out eventually.