Page 20 of Passing Notes
“It wasn’t like that. Or at least it hadn’t felt that way, not until the end. When we were together it was—” My eyes filled with tears. I brushed them away with a mini wail of frustration, but to my chagrin, they kept right on coming. “He loved me, he really did. Remember his family used to live in the trailer park down the hill from me?”
Molly pulled me close again and dried my cheeks with a soft napkin from the bag. “Yeah, I remember that. Then after his dad died, they moved into that big-ass house up at Bandit Lake.” Bandit Lake was exclusive. Only the richest of the rich lived up there. I would have bought a house there when I moved back to town, but they could only be passed down through inheritance, or shared within families.
“He used to let me climb through his window whenever Momma was being extra mean. Sometimes Sadie and Willa would come too. We’d make sure Gracie was asleep, then sneak out of the house and camp out on his bedroom floor. Willa had no clue, but Sadie knew about us. She was the only one.”
“Oh, Clara. I’m so sorry. I wish I had known too.”
“I know. I should have?—”
“No, no,” she soothed. “No apologies. We all did the best we could back then. None of us were capable of making wise decisions when we were going through so much. Kids do the best they can, right Leo?” she hinted not-so-subtly.
He shrugged his shoulders and his eyes lit with sympathy as he thought it over. “The main thing is we’re here for you today. What’s happening with him now?” he asked. “Why are you so upset? Besides the memories, of course.”
“I’m about to start subbing at Green Valley High—his school. Aaaand, he’s one of Gracie’s teachers.”
“Clara!” Molly was aghast. She pulled away and lifted my chin to study my face. Suspicion was etched all over her expression as her eyes narrowed on mine. “I defended your teenage choices, but this is crazy. Unless you want to end up banging him somewhere in that school, of course. Is that your end goal? Because if it is, I’ll help you get him back. I love a good second chance love story. I’m here for you no matter what.”
“I’m not going to bang him anywhere.” I backed out of her grasp with a defensive laugh. “He hurt me, and I hate him.” Even I couldn’t sell that lie. My feelings were written all over my face. The last thing I felt for Nicholas Andrew Easton was hate.
“Sure you do. You hate him so bad.” Molly’s head tipped to the side as she watched me. “This is why you’re so upset. You still care about him. The opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s indifference. And you are an obsessy Nickoholic right now. Do not even try to deny it to us.”
“I am not obsessed with him. I’m mad at him. I’m upset.”
“Well, duh. But he’s going to come up with some totally understandable explanation for what happened at the bus station, and then y’all are going to forgive each other. You obviously still have a lot of feelings for him. It’s written clear as day on your face, and I don’t blame you. First love can last forever if it’s real and the timing is right.”
“Yup. She’s right and you know it.” Leo nodded his agreement.
“I do not know that. I know no such thing.” I was a total liar. What Nick and I had was real and I did know it. That’s why seeing him had hurt so much. But I wasn’t ready for them to know it too.
Molly held up a hand. “Let’s talk about something else, something fun, to cheer you up. Your bridal shower will be a hot-for-teacher theme and I’m calling it right now. It’s mine to plan, not one of your sisters’. I declare dibs on the shower and we’ll have it at the inn. The rest of them can battle it out for maid of honor duty.”
“You have lost your damn mind.” I was indignant. “I’m telling you about my rage, about my abandonment issues and my tragic first love, and you’re talking about bridal showers.”
“I’ll make the cake!” Leo burst out. “The topper can be a little chalkboard with two hot nerds kissing in front of it. Or two houses side by side.”
“Oh my god, that’s perfect.” They high-fived in front of my face.
What the . . . ? “Y’all! Quit it!”
“Nick is a nice guy,” Molly stated matter-of-factly. “He has great kids. Garrett wouldn’t be friends with him if he was an asshole. Something happened back then—a misunderstanding, a youthful error of judgement, maybe cold feet or his mother got to him somehow. Bet on it. Y’all were kids. Kids are dumb.”
The thought struck me that maybe this is why none of my relationships had ever worked out. I’d always gone for men who were the opposite of Nick. Nick was careful, caring, even downright methodical when faced with making a decision. He had also been so sweet and romantic, thoughtful and loving.
Maybe he hadn’t been faking that shocked, hurt look on his face when he saw me in the parking lot with Gracie. Maybe something really had happened to make him think I didn’t want him, and that’s what caused everything to fall apart.
Maybe we could have another chance.
What the hell, Clara?
No.
Molly and her wild theories were getting into my head. I had to be smart about this. I couldn’t let him hurt me again, I’d never recover.
“Oh, lookie there.” Molly clapped her hands together. “Here he comes now. How fortuitous.”
Our eyes followed the path of his truck as it drove up the street and pulled into his driveway.
She stood, waving wildly over the porch railing as he drove up his driveway into his garage.