Page 71 of Enduring Darkness
Throwing my head back, I let my hair ripple down behind me as I raise my arms and dance. The beat of the music fuses with the beat of my heart, making me feel like I’m one with the music. I savor the feeling. Savor the rhythmic pounding of the bass, the flashing lights above, the press of bodies around me, the scent of perfume in the air, the drunken haze in my mind, and the joy that radiates through the room. Because I know that soon, this will all be gone.
Even if my father lets me stay at Blackwater this entire year, or even for all three years, my time here will eventually end. And then I will be expected to marry some rich and well-connected man in order to ensure that our family secures those lucrative contracts. My freedom will be over, and I will once more become a prize that some foppish man wins only to put on his shelf.
My heart clenches. And suddenly, the dancing crowd that is pressing in around me makes me feel claustrophobic. I suck in a deep breath and spin around, desperately searching for an exit. I need some air.
Across the room, I can see a neon sign pointing to a back door.
With my heart pounding in my chest, I start shoving my way towards it.
I don’t want a life like that. I don’t want to be married off and put on a shelf. I want someone who sees me for who I am. Someone who notices my strengths. Someone who appreciates them. Someone who doesn’t treat me like I’m made of glass.
As much as I hate the way Kaden humiliates me, I also love that he treats me like a real opponent. He never holds back. Never dismisses me as insignificant. He treats me the exact same way that he treats my brothers. Like a dangerous enemy. No one has ever seen me like that before.
Fresh air at last washes over me as I shove open the back door and stumble out into the darkened alley on the other side of the threshold. I drag in a deep breath to steady myself and to try to get the sense of claustrophobia out of my system.
A few other people are smoking close to the door, and they cast me strange looks.
I give them an embarrassed smile and then move farther away. Both because I can’t stand the smell of cigarettes when I’m drunk, and because I just need some space.
Only red brick walls watch me as I move a little deeper into the darkened alley. Discarded beer bottles clink and roll on the ground when I accidentally kick them as I stagger past. Throwing out a hand, I brace myself on the wall. The feeling of the rough surface underneath my palm grounds me, and I turn so that I’m leaning my back against the wall. Tilting my chin up, I rest the back of my head against the cool bricks and close my eyes for a little while.
My mind spins from the alcohol and the churning thoughts that whirl through my head.
If only my father saw me the way Kaden does. As someone to be reckoned with. But he never will. Since I’m too breakable to become a good assassin, he is going to marry me off. For the good of the family.
I thump the back of my head against the wall in annoyance.
There is no escaping my fate, I know that. I will be married off. I just wish that it could be to someone like Kaden.
But not Kaden himself, obviously.
Because that would be ridiculous and insane and—
“Alina?”
Dread crashes over me like a cold ocean wave.
With my heart pounding in my chest, I desperately pray that I misheard as I open my eyes.
But God is not merciful today, because I do indeed open my eyes to find Eric Wilson standing there right in front of me.
My former fiancé looks down at me with a smile on his narrow face. He looks almost exactly the same as he did the day that I broke off our engagement. The same as he does every day. Blond hair slicked back in a style that is supposed to make him look rich and trendy, but in reality only makes him look slimy. Beige chinos and an impeccable dress shirt, a wristwatch that costs more than my car, and that casually arrogant look in his blue eyes that comes from knowing that daddy’s money solves all problems.
“It is you,” he says, as if he couldn’t ascertain that it was truly me until I opened my eyes.
“Yep,” I reply, feeling my head still spinning with alcohol. “Sure is.”
“What are you doing out on a Friday night alone?”
“I’m not alone.”
He gives me a mildly pitying look, as if he doesn’t believe me. “Anyway, it’s good to see you.”
“Yeah.” I straighten from the wall and glance towards the back door farther down, hoping to catch the eye of one of the smokers, but they have already gone back inside. My pulse patters as I shift my gaze back to Eric. “Look, I should go back inside before they—”
“Don’t give me that,” he interrupts, sounding frustrated. His mouth tightens in annoyance as he fixes me with a hard stare. “You know that we need to talk.”
“There is nothing else to say. Our engagement is over. I’m sorry but—”