Page 137 of Timelessly Ours
Perry takes her hand and waves to us before shutting the door, leaving us alone.
It smells like him in here and I realize how much I miss it.
With my arms wrapped around myself, I step further into this space he calls his office. It looks more like a living room. I stop somewhere between the sofa and coffee table.
“I know the feeling,” he says, coming up behind me. “You’re so caught off guard that you can’t tell her you feel the same.”
I don’t turn around. I swipe at a tear that falls loose. “She knows I do.”
“Does she?”
I turn abruptly, in a ‘can we get this over with’ manner. “I’m sorry I lied to yo—”
“I forgive you,” he responds just as rushed—for my sake. Then grins as he inches closer. “That part’s easy.” He takes my shaky hands and settles me on the sofa. “What happened?”
I focus on his fingers around mine. “Pamela told me that I needed closure with people who were toxic in my life if I wanted to move on and let go.” I lift my eyes to his. “And I really wanted to…so we could have a chance. I started with Sylvie. I knew you wouldn’t—”
“But you didn’t drink there,” he says so matter of factly.
I shake my head.
“Then what happened? What was that?”
The words come out in a whisper. “I’m pregnant.”
Just like I expected, his features fall, and he drops my hands.
“That’s why I was so sick.”
I can see the wheels in his head turning as he blinks and stands.
“It’s why I couldn’t eat, why I was so emotional and tired.”
He kneels in front of me again, touching me as if checking for broken bones. “But…you were in a fight. You fell.”
“Everything is fine.” I can’t help my smile and he beams with a sigh of relief. I swallow. "I umm…basically turned Hulk on a guy named Kyle Johnson. He was one of—" I pause when I see him pale. "What is it?"
"I know who he is. A few weeks ago…I found out he was a regular there. It's why I asked you to stay away." He sighs. "I should have told you."
I smile and rub my knuckles, which have faint scars now. "I'm glad you didn't."
He shakes his head and stands again. I see him planning. I see him working out a way to do the right thing by me and I can’t have that. I won’t make a mockery out of him in this town. The minute Claire finds out, she’ll ruin us. I’m already done for. But he is still respected and admired.
They consider him a legend. And me, a legendary loser.
“I still need some time,” I whisper.
He drops again. “What? Nicky. Honey, I’m not letting you go again. I love you. You know that.”
I nod and my tears fall. “I think I do. But it’s all so overwhelming. I need more time to process." It's another lie, but a necessary one. Because I need to give him time to think. And he'll never admit to needing it.
His jaw works and he stands. “I promised myself I’d never pressure you to do anything.” He runs a hand down his face. “I guess that has to include this.”
It’s my first week back in my apartment and between the Christmas carols I’ve been blasting, the presents I’ve been wrapping and meals for one I’ve been prepping, there’s very little room for loneliness and regret.
It’s been ten days since I was in his office. Asking him for more time. But truthfully, I've always known what I want.
I'm just waiting for him. For him to prove that I'm not an obligation at this point. But the woman he's madly in love with and can't live without.