Page 38 of Whisk Me Away

Mom looked to Dad, who had been sitting in the chair beside her bed since Mom was brought in. He gave her a slight nod, and tears began to trail down his cheeks. I couldn’t remember a time I’d ever seen my dad cry. He'd always been the strong one. The one to held us all together in the tough seasons. To see his emotions plainly written across his face cracked my heart in two. Something is horribly wrong, and I didn't know if we’d ever be the same.

I glanced at Eden, and my eyes welled with tears. Her expression matched my own, and we slowly turned toward our mom.

"Girls, I need you to know that I love you with everything in me. You two are my pride and joy. There has been no greater privilege in this life than having the opportunity to be your mom,” the tears were streaming down each of our faces, and I fought to hold back the body-wracking sobs threatening to overtake me.

"We thought the treatment went well, but after my most recent scan, the doctors told us my cancer has metastasized. It has spread to my liver and my lungs. I'm not giving up, we are doing everything we can, but I need to be honest with you two. The prognosis isn't good. There is a good chance my body can't fight this, and I need you to be prepared."

Mom's words crashed into me like giant waves in the ocean. Just when I thought I could reach the top for air, I got hit with another wave. The panic rose in my chest as my body recognized the lack of oxygen. I was having another panic attack, and even though I knew what to do, I couldn’t seem to get my lungs to cooperate. I quickly scanned the room, realizing I hadn't seen Brant in a while. I was so caught up in what was happening with my mom that I hadn't notice him slip away. A wheezing sound came from my mouth, and I tried to drag in a breath to fill my lungs, but it wasn’t working. How could this be happening? How could my mom be dying? She’d taken care of herself and done all the right things. Why did it have to be her?

Before I knew what was happening, I was wrapped in a warm embrace. I knew who it was before I saw his face. The familiar scene of wood mixed with leather greeted me, and my body immediately relaxed.

"That's it, Peach. Take a deep breath for me,” Brant whispered in my ear.

One of my ears was pressed to his chest, and the steady rhythm of his heart allowed me to focus on breathing. I felt his chest inflate as he pulled in a deep breath. I did the same before blowing it out slowly.

"That's my girl. One more,” Brant praised.

I take another couple of deep breaths before Brant released his hold on me. I missed his heat instantly. I took in the room around me and saw Eden in a similar position with our dad. His arms were wrapped around her shoulders as she sobbed into his chest. My mom was silently crying in her bed as her eyes darted between Brant and me.

Brant cleared his throat and wrapped his warm hand around my right bicep. The reassuring touch brought me a sliver of comfort. I give him the best smile I could muster, reaching up with my left hand to squeeze his hand on my arm.

"I'll be in the waiting room," he whispered as he walked toward the curtain. Before I had a chance to tell him he didn’t need to wait, he was already gone.

Sitting on the edge of my mom's hospital bed, I could feel the weight of the situation pressing down on me. It'd been a whirlwind of emotions since we first received the news of her new diagnosis. But now, with my heart rate back to normal and the initial panic subsiding, I was determined to know the plan to fight this terrible disease.

"Mom, what's the plan?" I asked, trying to sound as composed as possible despite the fear gnawing at my insides.

My mom looked at me with a mixture of exhaustion and determination in her eyes. "We'll fight this together, sweetheart," she said, her voice weak but resolute. "The doctor said we have options. We just need to determine which is the best course of action."

My dad, who’d been sitting quietly beside the bed, cleared his throat. "The doctor mentioned a few different treatment options," he said, his voice steady. "But we need to consider all the factors before deciding."

Eden shifted nervously on the other side of Mom. She was trying to be strong for all of us, but I could see the fear lurking behind her eyes. "What are the options?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"We have a few options," my dad continued. "The doctor mentioned chemotherapy, radiation, and possibly surgery. Each has its own risks and benefits, and we'll need to weigh them carefully."

I nodded, absorbing the information. "And what about the timeline? How soon do you need to make a decision?" I asked, my voice betraying a hint of the anxiety thrumming through me.

"The doctor wants to start treatment as soon as possible," my mom replied.

I squeezed her hand reassuringly. "Whatever you decide, Mom, we're with you every step of the way," I said, trying to infuse my words with as much strength and conviction as I could muster.

Eden nodded fervently, her eyes shining with determination. "Yeah, Mom, we've got your back," she added, her voice trembling slightly.

Mom's eyes welled up with tears as she looked at each of us in turn. "We will fight the best we can and leave the rest up to God."

I gave her my best watery smile, sending up a string of prayers asking God to heal the most amazing woman I had ever known.

CHAPTER 26

KARIS

This last week was one of the most brutal weeks of my life. No one could prepare you for what it looked like to watch your mom undergo chemo and radiation. It was as if I was watching her slowly waste away before my eyes. She was stronger than anyone I'd ever known. She was walking through this treatment with a positive attitude. Her faith was unyielding and inspiring.

Watching my mom struggle through treatment was tearing me apart inside. Every labored breath she took felt like a dagger to my heart, a reminder of just how fragile life could be. I wanted so desperately to believe that she'd be healed, that this nightmare would soon be nothing but a distant memory. But as I watched her fight for each breath, doubts crept into my mind like unwelcome shadows, casting doubt on my hopes.

I tried to stay strong for her, putting on a brave face whenever she looked at me with those tired, pain-filled eyes. But inside, I was crumbling. The fear was suffocating, threatening to overwhelm me at any moment. How could I keep believing in a happy ending when every day felt like an uphill battle with no end in sight?

I reached out to hold her hand, hoping to offer some small comfort in the face of her pain. But even as I tried to be there for her, I couldn’t shake the feeling of helplessness that consumed me. I wanted to scream, to rage against the unfairness of it all. But instead, I buried my emotions deep inside, putting on a mask of stoicism to shield myself from the pain.