Page 21 of Passion

“Well, I’ll take that any day over Doctor King. Y’all, come on in.”

It was Sunday, and we were here for dinner. My body was tired as hell. I knew I would end up falling asleep after I ate. I’d gone back to work Tuesday and went to Clayton’s to see my children every day. When I got home, I had to take care of my husband, although he had said that he understood I was tired. There was no way I would start pushing him to the back burner already, especially over some shit I created.

I went to the dining room to see my daddy setting a casserole dish on the table. “Hey, Daddy.”

“Hey, baby girl,” he said as he looked up at me.

I went to his arms and hugged him, then Gentry shook his hand. “Hello, Doctor King.”

“Hello, Doctor Fleming.”

Unlike my mother, my dad didn’t try to get Gentry to call him anything other than Doctor King. This was our second time visiting since we’d been back in town. We came here Friday night. Gentry met me here after I left Clayton’s, then we went to a late dinner. He insisted I didn’t cook on weekends. I was grateful that he was looking out for me, but I felt like I wasn’t doing enough for him.

We were barely spending any time together now. All my free time went to my kids. By the time I got home, I was exhausted. We’d moved all my things to his home yesterday and this morning and got it organized. The movers had put my furniture in storage, although I was seriously considering selling it.

Gentry pulled out my chair for me to sit at the table, then he sat next to me and grabbed my hand. “So how has it been, getting to know each other?” my mama asked as she entered the room.

I glanced at Gentry, and he smiled. “It’s been great, Mama. A lot smoother than I expected. We have so much chemistry.”

“That’s so amazing. I’m so happy for you, baby.”

I lowered my head and smiled slightly, but it quickly left my face when my daddy asked about the kids. “They’re okay, Daddy. Just wondering why they can’t go home.”

My lip quivered, and my tears were threatening to fall. I took a deep breath and changed the subject. “What did you cook, Mama?”

She cleared her throat. “Grilled fish, steamed vegetables, and mashed potatoes. I hope that’s okay, baby.”

“It’s perfect, Mama. Excuse me, everyone.”

I stood from the table and made my way to the front door. There was no way I would be able to hold in my emotions. I missed Kizzie and Dakota so much. As the tears streamed down my face, I pulled my phone from my pocket. I wiped my tears and FaceTimed Clayton. Kizzie answered with a huge smile on her face.

“Mommy, did you forget to say something?”

I’d seen them this morning, and I had FaceTimed them before I left home. We were on the phone nearly an hour. “No. I just miss y’all.”

“We miss you too, Mommy. Are you done moving? I’m ready to see our new house.”

I smiled slightly. “Almost, baby.”

I hated lying to her. I didn’t know what I would come up with after so long. That lie would no longer work with her. I was surprised she hadn’t asked to see the house. There was no way I would have the audacity to tell Gentry to stay hidden in his own house. This shit was crazy. Clayton was acting like I was the type of mother to put my children in danger.

I took a deep breath as I noticed my brother driving up and Gentry walking out of the door to look for me. “Well, baby, I have to go. I’m about to go get something to eat.”

“Are you coming back over before you go home?”

I swallowed hard as Gentry stared at me. “Yeah, baby. I’ll come over before you go to bed. I love you.”

“I love you too, Mommy.”

I ended the call, and I could no longer hold the tears. I broke. Covering my face with my hands, I cried like I never had. When the swing moved and arms encircled me, I buried myself into his chest. I knew it was Gentry. His smell was my greatest obsession. His embrace felt like a warm blanket on a cold day. His kiss on my forehead always felt like it was the first… exhilarating and passionate.

“Shh… It’s gonna be okay, baby. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you.”

I was seeing them every day, but it just wasn’t enough. It wasn’t like it was when they lived with me… when they would come crawl in bed with me because they couldn’t sleep or had a bad dream. This was torture. I lifted my head and quickly wiped my face. “I’m sorry, Gentry.”

I had been crying a lot since the dinner with Clayton, but this was the first time he’d really seen me like this. Most times, I waited until he was asleep or cried when I went to the bathroom. Although I knew he could tell I wasn’t happy without my babies, he didn’t know just how bad I was suffering through this.

“Why are you apologizing, baby? I’m here for you.” He put his hands to my face and gently wiped my cheeks with his thumbs. “This is hard for me to watch, so I know it’s ten times worse for you. You don’t have to apologize for something that would devastate any mother as devoted as you. Okay?”