Page 42 of Passion

Gentry,

The ride was spontaneous, passion-filled, and beautiful. I fucked up the best time of my life. I know that, but I couldn’t control the way my body went into survival mode and pushed you away. It’s always been me and my babies, and I fall into that rhythm when problems arise. Of course, I needed my mama to inform me of that.

I came into your life with promises of being everything you needed. You upheld your end of the bargain, even when things got difficult. I’m sorry I was such a disappointment and a waste of money. Hopefully, this cashier’s check is enough to reimburse you. If it isn’t, let me know. I tried calling before making the final decision to leave, but you didn’t answer. That gave me the answer I was searching for.

I bent over and picked up the paper that had fallen to the floor to see a cashier’s check for fifteen grand. I slowly shook my head as a tear breached the levy I’d set up. Going back to the note, I continued to read.

You’re tired of the bullshit, and honestly, I am too. It wasn’t fair for you to even have to endure it. I know my life won’t be the same without you, but I’ve come to accept that decisions I’ve made will most likely leave me a single woman for the rest of my life. The way you took to my children moved me in so many ways. I can’t believe I’m saying goodbye, but I don’t deserve someone as perfect as you.

I hope you one day find what you were searching for and true happiness with the woman of your dreams. I guess I turned out to be a smoke screen, showing potential of who I could be but wasn’t just yet. I jumped the gun, diving into something I thought I was ready for, and it cost both of us… financially, emotionally, mentally, and physically. I feel like I broke your spirit too.

I’m so sorry, Flem. Just know that what you felt in Honolulu wasn’t fake. It’s who I strive to be… free, passionate, and loving. This situation with my kids zapped me of all of that. Clayton exposed my weakness, and he’s playing on it. I would do anything to keep my kids in my life, and that was one of the driving factors that had me take your advice.

Although I’m gone physically, you will always be in my heart, and I hope the good times we shared remain a beautiful memory for you after you can get over the failure of it all. I love you so much. This is killing me, but I know it’s something I have to do so you’ll have peace. I wish you the best and all the love I have to offer.

Elle

Tears were freefalling down my cheeks at this point. Her note touched my heart in ways I didn’t expect. I thought it would make me angry, but anger was the last emotion I was feeling. I was heartbroken. I dropped it to the countertop along with the check and wiped my face. This was it, and it was the most heartache I’d ever felt in my life.

After picking up the key, I walked to my bedroom, feeling an overwhelming heaviness in my spirit. Brokenness was something I’d never felt, and I realized it was something I never wanted to feel again. Just as I was about to get undressed to take a shower, my phone rang. It hadn’t rung since Giselle had called earlier. I’d spent hours with the animals.

I fed a lamb and held it for a couple of hours like it was my child. Then I rode one of the horses for nearly another two hours. The rest of my time was spent making sure the animals had everything they needed and practically petting every one of them, except the hogs. They were full of mud, doing their best to stay cool. The temperatures had been climbing, and I wished I could get in the mud with them to stay cool.

When I grabbed the phone, I saw it was the answering service. They only called when there was an emergency of some kind. I quickly answered. “Gentry Fleming.”

“Doctor Fleming, we need you at the office. Shakira is having a meltdown. Sasha was attacked by a possum. It doesn’t sound good.”

“I’m on my way.”

I ended the call and quickly grabbed my wallet and ran to get my keys. Possums carried all sorts of diseases… just like rats. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind for this shit, but I had to try to save her. If that possum bit Sasha, then she had to have attacked it first. Their first defense mechanism was to play dead or hiss when cornered.

I sped to my office, doing my best to focus on Sasha and how badly she could possibly be injured. I was more than sure her skin was at least punctured. Depending on how hard she was fighting back, she could be torn open. I knew Shakira was having a hard time. She loved that dog and treated her like a little kid.

When I got to my office, she was seated on the bench outside the door, holding Sasha in a towel. I took a deep breath and quickly got out and ran to them. I didn’t bother speaking. I simply unlocked the door, expecting Shakira to follow me inside. I went straight to an examination room to assess the damage.

I knew Sasha could possibly be feeling hostile, unless she’d lost a lot of blood. When she took the towel from around her, I could see blood, but it wasn’t as bad as I had mentally prepared for. I released a sigh of relief. “Shakira, thankfully, the wound doesn’t seem to be too bad. Since Sasha is up to date on all her vaccinations, she should be fine. I’m going to clean her up and prescribe antibiotics. You’ll also need to monitor her closely for the next ten days.”

“Okay. I was so scared. That’s my baby.”

She started crying all over again, so I extended my hand to her and pulled her closer. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

She nodded and wrapped her arms around my waist. “Thank you, Doctor Fleming.”

Before she pulled away, I kissed her forehead. Fuck! She stared up at me then backed away.

“I apologize. I’m just…” I took a deep breath. “I’m going through something right now, and I’m feeling slightly sensitive. Forgive me.”

She nodded and glanced down at my hand. I wasn’t wearing my wedding band. I’d never put it on today because I didn’t feel like I was someone’s husband. Going back to Sasha, I tried to get her situated, and that proved to be a task. She was frantically trying to get away from me. I was finally able to give her a shot, and once the tranquilizer kicked in, she was fast asleep. I took my time cleaning her and getting her stitched up. The wound needed five stitches.

I looked at the time to see we’d been here for two hours. As I pulled off my gloves then washed my hands, Shakira said, “Doctor Fleming?”

I glanced over at her and immediately felt guilty. I was still married, although we were separated. Legalities mattered to me. Legally, I’d devoted my life to Giselle King. My heart hadn’t gotten the memo that that was no longer the case. I was vulnerable, so it didn’t help that I was physically attracted to Shakira. “Yes, ma’am?”

“You love her. Don’t let what you’re going through distract you from that. You aren’t wearing your wedding band that I scoped out the last couple of times I was here.”

I took a deep breath the responded, “I do, but we’re done. She moved out today.”

Her eyebrows lifted slightly. “That still doesn’t equate to being done. You’re a great catch, and I’m more than sure she knows that. This season is only temporary. Mark my words. While I would love to accept your affection, it belongs to her and her only. She’s going to be back. Just keep your heart open to that, and everything will be fine.”