Page 9 of Rescuer

CHAPTER4

Fear of Losing

“Noalie, dear?”I heard my mother's calm, soothing voice call out. I turned in her direction, putting my hands out in front of me to find the exact location of her body.

“Mom, where are you?” I asked, still searching.I hated using my white cane in the house. I preferred to touch and feel things while I was at home.

“Right here, my love.” Her voice was much closer now. Her hands enveloped mine, grasping onto them tightly. “You're so beautiful, honey,” she said, pulling me in for a hug.

I had a distant memory of her, but I knew she probably didn’t look the same. Over time, people changed and aged. Even I knew that I had changed since I was five years old, since the day I lost my eyesight. I knew I was taller and more feminine now. Feeling things allowed me to bring a shape into my mind, and when someone told me the color, I could usually fully picture what I was touching.

I wished I knew what I looked like. My mother told me that I had blonde hair and blue eyes. My family and Halt always told me I was beautiful, but it was so hard to picture myself as something pretty when I couldn’t even see.

“You were looking for me?” I asked, laying my head down on what I guessed was her shoulder.

“Oh, yes. Halt is here,” she informed me, gently sitting me up so I was no longer leaning on her. I allowed her to take my hand and lead me to him. I knew Halt well enough to know that he would already have my white stick handy. He was always so attentive to my needs. Around him, I never went without.

I faintly heard his voice talking to my father about what he planned to do with me today, though it made no difference to me as I couldn’t see anyway. But just being with Halt made me happy. I pictured him to be one of the most beautiful things in this world. One of my only regrets was not being able to see him.

My mother let go of my hand once we were closer to my father and Halt, and I stood there trying to find my bearings.

I felt a big, firm hand take hold of my much smaller one, and I knew by the rough texture of his palms that Halt had taken possession of my hand. Shivers raced down my spine. I loved when he touched me.

“Hey,” I greeted, letting him pull me to his side where I felt safe, knowing he wouldn’t let any harm come to me.

“Hello, beautiful,” he murmured, placing a kiss to my forehead. I felt my cheeks warm.

I imagined Halt was extremely handsome. I often found myself wondering why he always decided to hang out with the blind girl, and sometimes, it confused me even more why he wanted the blind girl to be his girlfriend.

“Noah?” Halt’s deep voice questioned, bringing me out of my mind.

“Yes?” I asked, turning my head in the direction of his voice.

“You zoned out. Is everything alright?” he asked, worry evident in his deep, masculine voice.He was always so concerned for me. It made me feel all gooey inside.

“Everything’s fine.” I smiled. “I just can’t wait to get out of the house and hear the birds again.”

He laughed softly and dropped a kiss to the top of my head, handing me my white cane as he did so. “Alright; let's go,” he said, leading me out of the house where I could hear a car pass and the birds singing happily in the trees. I could feel the breeze as it blew through my hair.

I wanted to see the world so badly.

“Where are we going today?” I asked the man at my side, shaking that thought aside. I really needed to come to terms with being blind. I’d never be able to see again.

“It’s a surprise, but I know you’ll love it.”

We had been dating for a few months now. We were the talk of the school for a day before we were forgotten. I guess everyone was expecting us to be a couple from the start. I was pretty sure they were more shocked that we weren’t already together.

But I never thought I was good enough for him.

Yet I couldn’t be happier. I had accepted who I was in life, what role I played in society. I had mostly accepted myself after years of hating what I was, and it was all because of Halt. He never let me feel different.

“Strawberries or bananas?” Halt asked, coming to a stop. “And yes, the strawberries are chocolate-covered.” It was as if he could read my mind. He knew me so well.

“Strawberries,” I answered in a dreamlike whisper as different scents assaulted my nostrils all at once. We were supposed to be going out for lunch, but I guess Halt had other plans as the smell of ice cream and cinnamon buns hit me.

“Four strawberries please?” he asked.

“Of course. Anything else?” a young voice answered his, and instantly, I felt jealousy rise within me. I couldn’t see the girl who was more than likely admiring my boyfriend and flirting with him by doing who knew what. She had the ability to essentially speak to him with her eyes.